July 15 2020

My grandmother once gave me a tip:
In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.
Do what you have to do, but little by little.
Don’t think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.
Wash the dishes.
Remove the dust.
Write a letter.
Make a soup.
You see?
You are advancing step by step.
Take a step and stop.
Rest a little.
Praise yourself.
Take another step.
Then another.
You won’t notice, but your steps will grow more and more.
And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.

– Elena Mikhalkova

My Mother July 3 2020

From 4 years ago:
My mother has suffered a LOT in her life. I won’t go into it but a LOT. And has always been the little energizer bunny, just continuing on. Does. Not. Gossip. Has tremendous compassion. Has a great sense of humor and has grown into a truly open mind. Does have a stubborn streak, which I actually think is kind of healthy. And is just the greatest example of acceptance. As you can tell, I love her very much. (PS for about 3 weeks now she has been her intelligent, funny, lucid self. I’ll take every minute of that we can get)

In the spirit of real honesty, I must admit there are times (few) when I feel I just need a break. ‘Cause it’s a lot watching a loved one age and decline and helping her all you can yet always feeling guilty that you should be doing more… But the vast majority of the time, I’m just so grateful to have these years – decades – of peace and friendship with my mother. They were a long hard road to get to.


Grats June 26 2020

  1. Yesterday, visit from J.
  2. And he brought me the keyboard – with batteries and headphones – so I can even do music outside!
  3. Time outside with chair, water, books.
  4. Jo came out and watered, thank you.
  5. And I was sitting on my chair and we chatted.
  6. I bought a chair for J! So when he comes he doesn’t have to sit on steps. Such fortune xo
  7. my groceries just got delivered
  8. i have fresh and mostly organic: cherries
  9. blueberries
  10. peaches
  11. plums
  12. lettuces
  13. spinach
  14. peppers
  15. and field roast franks
  16. and tofurkey
  17. lemons
  18. ingreds for vegan tacos
  19. i already have tomatoes
  20. hot cereals
  21. whole grain breads
  22. whole grain pastas
  23. sauce
  24. “just egg” plant based
  25. tempeh
  26. tofu
  27. lentil burger ingreds
  28. chickpea salad ingreds
  29. canned soups
  30. frozen eggplant
  31. celery
  32. carrots
  33. soup ingreds
  34. hummus
  35. gardein products
  36. morningstar far too – both in freezer
  37. frozen veggies
  38. broths
  39. sweet potatoes
  40. whole wheat couscous
  41. brown basmati rice
  42. pb (and sugar free j)
  43. raisins
  44. cinnamon raisin whole grain bread
  45. water
  46. diet ginger ale
  47. lemon zero water thing
  48. silk yogurts
  49. brazil nuts

more later