1:40 pm start
from For Today:
Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over. F. Scott Fitzgerald
What an injustice to think myself a failure because I have to begin again! So I slipped, or relapsed, so what? Starting over is what all creation is about. It is part of the fabric of success in enterprises ranging from spinning a web to spinning a web to splitting the atom.
Willingness to make a new beginning is a sign of growth. It means I am returning to the program with a deeper understanding of myself and my illness. Far from wanting to hide in the back of the room, I feel I have something of value to contribute. The Big Book tells me that to get started on the road to recovery, nothing works better than getting out and working with others. One way to do tat is to share my discovery that relapse, which for me is the only alternative to the OA program, has renewed my faith in that program.
For today: I think of the term, “reread” as proof of how wonderfully accepting and free we OAs can be about the nature of our disease. If there were no Overeaters Anonymous I might have to give in to the gloom and doom; but OA is alive and well and going strong – and so am I!
*My take is I do not understand about the getting out there and working with others, how it would help me. I can only think I would fail them. I am willing to go to meetings and speak up. I hope that’s a start enough.
-from Voices of Recovery:
“The powerful force that brought e to OA is ready to lead me to the promises of this program.” – For Today p. 335
No human power can relieve me when I feel empty. God can and will give me peace! All I need to do is read, write, pray, stay close to my Higher Power and OA, and work the Steps. The solution is so much more kind to me than the disease ever was.
*My take is: Read, write, pray, stay close to my Higher Power and OA, and work the Steps. Okay. I can do that. I need a sponsor to help me on Step Six now.
From Daily Reflections:
ACCEPTING SUCCESS OR FAILURE
Furthermore, how shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success? Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair or pride? Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity? Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us? from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 112
After I found A.A. and stopped drinking, it took a while before I understood why the First Step contained tow parts: my pwerlessness over alcohol, and my life’s unmanageability. In the same way, I believed for a long time that, in order to be in tune with the TWelve Steps, it was enough for me “to carry this message to alcoholics.” That was rushing things. I was forgetting that there were a total of more than one part. Eventually I learned that it was necessary for e to ‘practice these principles’ in all areas of my life. In working all the Steps thoroughly, I not only stay sober and help someone else to achieve sobriety, but also I transform my difficulty with living into a joy of living.
*My take: Okay – maybe I’ll wait for Step 12 to think about sponsoring. Okay. Tonight I will go to a beginner meeting in my area (OA, which is my program), and get a sponsor and get serious with Step Six.
Is it really possible for me to “transform my difficulty with living into a jooy of living.”? Wow I hope and pray so yes.
from As Bill Sees It p 27
We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition
We of A.A obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.’s disciplinarians; we need no others.
*My take: Interesting that I turned to this page to start – where I’d left off before. Because I have so much great suffering. I don’t need another motivator do I? Hmmm. love!And I would really so much rather have great.
From Thich Nhat Hanh’s How to Eat p. 37:
FOOD AS MEDICINE
In the original Five Contemplations as they were recited during the Buddha’s time, food was considered to be medicine. But I think that when the Buddha received good food, he also enjoyed it. I don’t think he thought of it as just taking medicine. We know the food nourishes our bodies. But we can also appreciate and savor our food.
*My take: I must eat good real whole foods healthy – fruit and veggies… for health. Food is for health. I need help – the steps
From How to Relax p. 32:
When we begin practicing awareness of our breath, the breathing may not be very peaceful. It may be rushed, uneven, or shallow. This is because of the tensions in our body and the sadness and other preoccupations in our mind. Therefore, our breathing isn’t peaceful. Breathing in and out, we concentrate just on our breathing. If we continue to practice awareness of breathing, our breathing becomes gentle, deeper, more peaceful, and the state of dispersion in our mind ceases. Here are three exercises to bring peace to the breath. The first is to recognize the in-breath as an in-breath, and the out-breath as an out-breath. The second is to recognize the length of the in-breath and out-breath. The third is to focus on the breath all the way through. This is concentration. We just observe the breath, we never force it. We allow it to be natural. With awareness of breathing, our breath naturally becomes deeper, slower, and more peaceful.
Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in. Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.
Breathing in, I see my breath is long or short. Breathing out, I see my breath is long or short.
Breathing in, I follow my in-breath all the way through. Breathing out, I follow my out-breath all the way through.
* My take: do it. Breathe. Meditate. Breathe.
From How to Walk p. 30:
When you walk mindfully, just enjoy walking. The technique to practice is to walk and just to be exactly where you are, even if you are moving. Your true destination is the here and the now, because only in this moment and in this place is life possible. The address of all the great beings is ‘here and now.’ The address of peace and light is also ‘here and now.’ You know where to go. Every in-breath, every out-breath, every step you make should bring you back to that address.
From The Big Book p 417:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed o be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in my and my attitudes.
*My take: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Now 2:18. And I will drink water and meditate. Then report back later. Must learn how to put this in a category like Daily Readings.
Okay so I did the readings and meditation and had some water. All in just over an hour. Okay. Is 2:51 at finish. Of course also must do step work and workout. Whole thing could be 2 hours. I can – will – do this every day. Say 4:30 coffee and bathroom. Then this stuff. Then 7 :00 shower and breakfast and make lunch and care for birds and 7:55 leave. Try that for now.