Journal Apr 29

I’m tired.


It’s been a LOT. I still don’t know what’s been biting me. It has been over 8 weeks. I had exterminator check house bed etc nothing. Had contractor/friend check – he checked 3 x. Nothing. Was driving friend 4 – 6 hours a week. She has 3 cats and 2 are long-haired. Stopped driving her just in case. Went to dr (who said stop driving friend). Verdict: bites. She sent me to dermatologist. Verdict: bites or allergies. She sent me to allergist. Verdict: 100% these are bites. Washed sheets, towels, clothes, coat – everything. Took a while! Washing everything. Had car done and house exterminated TWICE!!!!! Birds away boarding both times. Dr co-pays, meds, 2x bird boarding and 2 x extermination came to $2600.00 out of pocket. Nothing for about a week and a half.  Last night? Bites.
I don’t know what to do!

Anyone? Any idea?

Meanwhile, today I will go to WW and then dentist. Then mother. Then meeting. Then out with M.
The ONLY thing of that group I’m looking forward to is WW.
Tomorrow I will do laundry and grocery shopping (I like both) and can chill all I want, but harder to chill when lonely. Oy. Gratitudes will be important today!

God, please please help my friend’s whose family lost a 19 year old in a horrific car accident yesterday.
And my friend Ka, who is in such pain and no one there to help her. (several states away)
And Tr’s daughter and marriage and herself, my dear friend.
And my mother, with her confusion.
Thank you

God, I offer my self to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy Power, Thy Love, And Thy Way of Life. May i do Thy will always, amen.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

I want to be more open here. I just am having a bit of trouble with going INTO the feelings right now, ’cause kind of on a treadmill and then, despite my Buddhism, I escape (tv, computer, overeating:(

Working on it 🙂


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