Gratitudes April 2

  1. That I did the stuff this morning! I woke up feeling lazy. And there were dishes in the sink from last night, and packages on the d.r. table, and couple things in den. I felt like, “I just want to sit and crochet.” But – I had one cup of this drink called java (not coffee but has caffeine) and I: did the dishes, did the packages from d.r. table, straightened den, took shower and washed hair, cleaned bird cage. And by about 7 am, felt like a new person! Now – even if I ~choose~ to take a lazy day, it is in a nice environment. And if anyone stops by, I’ll feel good too!
  2. That I went to meeting last night.
  3. And took Jl. This helps us BOTH get there:)
  4. That I shared
  5. And got lovely reactions. It is so nice to know that people *notice* the changes in me! It’s sort of validating.
  6. SO glad I also went to WW meeting in am.
  7. and shared
  8. Leader hugged me. I lvoe her.
  9. And she asked if I could stay and share that at next meeting.
  10. I called mother to see if coming over one hour later was ok
  11. It was
  12. I loved the second meeting too!
  13. Visited mother
  14. Great visit.
  15. She was well:)
  16. Enjoying lunch
  17. Aide M was in great form
  18. There is an upsetting situation about the 24/7 care – potential problem – but I’m grateful that Iafter just couple of hours, I was so calm and knowing I’ll find a way to deal with it. She WILL have the care she needs.
  19. I’m grateful for the itches because they will be the cause of me finding another good doctor (mine left the practice and this gives me an opportunity to find a good PCP while I see dermatologist,  before I’ in real need).
  20. That I am taking care of my teeth. Brush and salt water rinse for the healing site, and
  21. flossing at night
  22. and that does help me not eat later too.
  23. I am grateful for the oral procedure, which kind of brought me back to caring for my whole body at the next level.
  24. I am grateful for my WW journal
  25. and my blingy stickers
  26. I am so grateful for my friendship with Jo!
  27. I am so grateful for THIS WW leader
  28. and the group
  29. and the later group
  30. and Sh
  31. Also the guy I met last night, Jn
  32. I’m grateful that I have enough food
  33. I’m grateful that the birdies flew today
  34. I’m grateful for my digestive system
  35. I slept last night
  36. I love my book
  37. I didn’t have any bad dreams
  38. Yellow bird is chirping up a storm right now!
  39. with toy
  40. Grateful for every happy minute I’ve had with birds
  41. and buying things for birds
  42. What magic it is having them in my house
  43. Grateful for lamps
  44. crocheting
  45. heat – which I’d better turn up now, as I’m so cold
  46. Golden Girls
  47. Columbo
  48. Roseanne
  49. My piano – which I’ll have tuned soon
  50. My front windows
  51. J for putting them in
  52. the trees out front
  53. and back
  54. and side
  55. my new wood fence
  56. my forsythia has started to bloom
  57. my house
  58. my car is fixed
  59. my teeth
  60. my gums
  61. my tongue
  62. my saliva
  63. my swallowing
  64. my ability to speak
  65. I am free
  66. I am safe
  67. I am calm
  68. I love my neighborhood
  69. I ove the neighborhood where I work
  70. I have TWO outdoor malls for walking near me!
  71. And parks
  72. and beachs
  73. I have a backyard
  74. I have a front yard
  75. I have a side yard-like space
  76. and a side walkway
  77. I have plants
  78. Some perennial
  79. some annual
  80. and indoor plants too
  81. my sunroom, for which I waited so long, is done
  82. I have order in my basement
  83. and a totally 100% clear attic
  84. Jo helps me a lot
  85. I have perfect eyesight
  86. I can hear
  87. I can walk
  88. I can drive
  89. I pay my bills on time
  90. I am respected at work
  91. I have fun a work
  92. I do not have M’s drama and bullshit in my life anymore
  93. I am “there for” people.
  94. My friendship with Tr
  95. and L
  96. and DS
  97. and O
  98. and D
  99. and B
  100. And K
  101. and Jen L
  102. and St
  103. and N
  104. and A!
  105. My mother
  106. Aide M with her
  107. Aide F
  108. other things too which I know I’ve posted before but it is worth continuing: like bathroom electricity
  109. my kindness
  110. my compassion
  111. my humor
  112. my life
  113. that I did’t kill myself
  114. my dreams
  115. my books
  116. my piano-playing
  117. calssical composers
  118. my shoes
  119. my boots
  120. summer is coming
  121. spring is here
  122. i have a week off soon
  123. I work things out. I always did.
  124. I am MUCH stronger than I ever thoguht I was
  125. and that I just wrote about them in my journal
  126. that I am not OBSESSs me and what anyone thinks of me anymore – with food or not-food/ with routines or avoidance of routines/ with sadness melancholy and depression/ with how everyone treats me/ with keeping my home in order or not/ with teaching/ with piano
  127. That I shower and /or bathe every day
  128. and look good every day
  129. and get specialty pedi once every three weeks
  130. and massage almost every month. Wow these are luxuries.
  131. So I have, in a month: one week cleaning ladies/ one week mani-pedi/ one week massage. Wow!
  132. humor
  133. intelligence
  134. my hands
  135. that I love typing so much. It calms me.
  136. I ordered my Erin Condren planner!
  137. And it should be here the first eve of my vaca!
  138. my eye drops. So grateful for those
  139. my little tiny bit of Paxil. I mean, the “normal dose” for people is between 40 and 60 mgs a day. *I* take 15 mgs every OTHER day 🙂
  140. So glad that that works.
  141. good movies
  142. pizza
  143. and that it’s not often
  144. and can be vegan
  145. Thich Nhat Hanh
  146. my nails
  147. my toes
  148. my fingers
  149. lovely nature sounds
  150. those walks in woods with dog off-leash
  151. Talking nicer to myself lately.
  152. The Law of Attraction
  153. and that I’m tapping intoit more now. May i only do so more and more.
  154. Beading
  155. knitting
  156. embroidery. including crewel work
  157. cross stitch
  158. needlepoint
  159. stitch n zip
  160. museums
  161. that although I am not against zoos, knowing what I know and favoring sanctuaries, that I HAVE gotten to see irl zebras, giraffes, lions, tigers, monkeys, elephants, bison, rhinos, and more
  162. Botanical Gardens
  163. GI
  164. OB
  165. PR
  166. P&B
  167. I have eaten in wonderful paces in NYC
  168. and London
  169. and Bermuda
  170. and Barbados
  171. and LA
  172. my fb friends
  173. what I learn from them
  174. squirrels
  175. fish
  176. turtles
  177. wood
  178. trees!
  179. flowers!
  180. grasses!
  181. dirt
  182. soil
  183. earth
  184. meditation
  185. meditation with others
  186. soft clothes
  187. my washer and dryer
  188. I will do laundry soon
  189. jewelry I’ve made
  190. and bought
  191. and gifted to me
  192. gold
  193. diamonds
  194. emeralds
  195. rubies
  196. garnets
  197. sapphires
  198. tanzanite
  199. blue topax
  200. my bracelets
  201. my rings
  202. my earrings
  203. my necklaces
  204. my temporary tattoos
  205. toothpaste
  206. toothbrush
  207. having my teeth cleaned last month – how different it was – not unpleasant or painful and horribly bloody like itused to be
  208. supportive people
  209. the concert I went to last week
  210. and the one I will go to with Tr in Apr
  211. and our paint nite. I loved it
  212. painting
  213. reading
  214. teaching
  215. elementary math
  216. how dating L helped me change
  217. how it taught me that I can DECIDE “this is how I am” and be it! to a great extent
  218. bright yellow
  219. how pretty my birds are
  220. vegan cookbooks!
  221. that I can and do inspire some people
  222. little Mn’s footprint in the frame ❤
  223. I have never been in a tsunami
  224. or a tornado
  225. or a real flood
  226. or a hurricane that hurt me
  227. An earthquake did do a little bit of damage to my house but it was only a little!
  228. AND I was not hurt
  229. I have never been in a very bad car accident
  230. II have a good brain and can understand things
  231. I no longer live in fear
  232. I have soft jammies on right now
  233. I have dinner cooking right now
  234. I did my laundry today
  235. Schedule is made for work tomorrow
  236. Spoke with mother; she was good.
  237. Will go to her from dermatologist on Tuesday

Gratitudes April 1

  1. I am SO grateful to fell happy. This morning I was walking from l.r. to d.r. and literally out loud, came: “I’m so happy!”
  2. It is the hppiness of: acceptance
  3. and respect. for life.
  4. for self
  5. for others
  6. for the process
  7. and ease
  8. and the un-drama of it all
  9. and the house in peaceful order
  10. and my morning spiritual “work”
  11. and my friendships
  12. including the new one with Jl
  13. and piano – even THINKING baout practicing some Chopine today brought me happiness
  14. and having a book I love (and more I’m sure)
  15. and feeding my body with FOOD not just crap – which changes everything for me!
  16. Having just read the 5 mindfulness trainings aloud with L.
  17. Good sleep last night
  18. No new itchies popped up this am phew
  19. Dermatologist appointment coming Tues
  20. oral surgeon appointment yesterday
  21. all was good!
  22. Back to salt water rinses. Shouldn’t havve stopped. But NO harm was done!
  23. Little T, playing the Clementi sonatina yesterday.
  24. Everyone listening.
  25. The inspiration *I* get to practice, from him and a couple of other little ones:)
  26. Am enjoying a cool glass of water right now.
  27. My WW meetings!
  28. I love this group
  29. and will go today!
  30. My new health food store. I love it so much.
  31. And they get anything you want.
  32. And they are so much less expensive than the other one.
  33. And Jo introduced me to it
  34. On my birthday
  35. My WW journal
  36. bling stickers
  37. and I will use some for me today
  38. AND buy some to bring for the kids
  39. Grateful for my breath!
  40. and my eyesight!
  41. and my birds
  42. and that I care for them
  43. Grateful that I will go to my health food store today!
  44. and I will crochet some. I love to:)
  45. And that I am making something for me
  46. Oceans
  47. rivers
  48. lakes
  49. streams
  50. fresh water from the tap
  51. and the stores
  52. my bathtub
  53. shower
  54. sins
  55. toilet that flushes phew
  56. my basement
  57. my non-cluttered house. Omg yes!
  58. my hearing
  59. my piano
  60. and my playing it
  61. and the act of practicing
  62. my hands
  63. and how much typing does for me
  64. facebook
  65. Tr
  66. A
  67. L
  68. DS
  69. Jl
  70. K JUST wrote that she remembers reading the mindfulness with me! Right after I’d put in a Microsoft Word document that we can 🙂
  71. It is so good to have friends.
  72. My car is fixed. Phew.
  73. Java. Two cups this morning.
  74. Vitamins. Which I only take sometimes.
  75. My oral surgery spot is not even hurting anymore. Yesterday a slight bit of soreness without tylenol or anything. Dr said that’s great.
  76. my job
  77. my students this year oh wow
  78. my colorful pens
  79. coloring. I haven’t done like twice in a year, but it is here
  80. my principal
  81. my street
  82. “my” oak tree
  83. My hope chest from my mother from her mother, my grandmother
  84. Roseanne repeats
  85. My Thick Nhat Hanh calligraphy. And second one. And third one still to put out!
  86. meditation
  87. this blog. (and maybe someday someone will read it and be helped by it… )
  88. jigsw puzzles online
  89. living more. less sitting. not living to hide out in the den
  90. spending so much time in d.r. now sitting up at table
  91. that I do not hold grudges. I just don’t
  92. that I mostly don’t give a flying sh*t what people think of me. Yay! I remember when I was kind of ruled by it
  93. Weight loss
  94. Chat with L this morning
  95. Not obsessing like I used to
  96. Not living in state of fear like I used to
  97. or resentment
  98. or anger
  99. SUCH changes. SO grateful to the morning work *I* do
  100. and to OA program
  101. and to Buddhism!
  102. And to hope!

Journal April 1

Just read this aloud with L. So grateful.

Prayers now:
God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would hep, of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always, amen.

So today I will go to my happy WW meeting. Then visit my mother. The ay before yesterday was rough; she was suffering. yesterday she was fine:) Today we’ll see.

I will then to shopping for my groceries. and I am so thankful about that.

Later I will pick up Jl for a meeting! It is within walking distance for her but she feels it will encourage her to get there and I’ll be only blocks away so I’m happy too. Also, knowing I have to pick her up will get me there!

Tomorrow I will get a mani pedi! After i do my “morning work” and laundry and cooking:) And I will read:) 🙂


Readings April 1

How to Love:


The human body is one of the most beautiful things that we can see. We need to practice treating such beauty with reverence. Perhaps we’re afraid to contemplate beauty and that’s why we don’t treat our bodies and the bodies of others with respect.

My takeaway: Lots to think about in these few lines. Like: yes, we need to treat such beauty with reverence. And yes, we must practice. But also – why would we be afraid to contemplate beauty? I think this is NOT what he meant, but the ONLY reason I can think of is that we’re carried away with other things – worries, regrets, busy things….

How to Sit:


When you practice sitting with others, you don’t have to do anything at all. The basic practice is to be there, to follow your breathing, and to experience the joy of being together. Imagine a flock of birds flying in the sky. Every bird has its own position and each bird makes a contribution to the whole formation. They fly so smoothly together. Since each bird is part of this larger formation, they don’t have to make a lot of effort. They benefit from the collective energy and don’t need to work as hard. It’s a pleasure to fly together like that in the sky. When we sit together, we are supported by each other. We each produce our true presence and offer that to each other.

My takeaway: Nice. And also when alone can enjoy, I hope and think (at long last)…

How to Eat:


Eating mindfully is a practice that supports ourselves, our families, our society, and the planet, and it is something everyone of any age can do. Leaders of organizations and communities can model responsible and compassionate eating. If you are a mayor, a governor, or a president, you may want to encourage the people you govern to engage in mindful consumption so that you can reduce the violence and suffering in your community.

My takeaway: Oh my gosh yes. So glad I’ve made changes. May I continue and make more and more!

How to Walk:


We don’t have to wait until we die to return to Mother Earth. In fact, we’re in the process of going back to Mother Earth right now. Thousands of cells in our bodies are dying each moment, and new ones are being born. Whenever we breathe, whenever we walk, we are returning to the Earth.

My takeaway: Wow, I love this!

How to Relax:


Our breath is like a bridge connecting body and mind. In our daily lives, our bodies may be in one place and our minds somewhere else, in the past, or in the future. This is called a state of distraction. The breath is a connection between the body and the mind. When you begin to breathe in and out mindfully, your mind will come back to your body. You will be able to realize the oneness of body and mind and become fully present and fully alive in the here and the now. You will be in a position to touch life deeply in this moment. This isn’t something difficult. Everyone can do it.

My takeaway: To stay connected. not to have body in one place and mind in another.



Affirmations April 1

My life is wonderful.
My life is perfect.
I am so relaxed.
I am so happy.
I have inner peace.
I have fun.
I have interests.
I am loved.
All is right in my world!

Life is eternal and filled with joy.
I look forward to every moment.

Life is eternal and filled with joy.
I look forward to every moment.

Life is eternal and filled with joy.
I look forward to every moment.

Life is eternal and filled with joy.
I look forward to every moment.

Life is eternal and filled with joy.
I look forward to every moment.