Gratitudes August 31

  1. I am so grateful that I do read the 5 Mindfulness Trainings aloud with another person at least once every three months
  2. That Thay is in Vietnam now. Home. And stood with monk holding him up, so own feet on homeland.
  3. broccoli soup for breakfast this am 🙂
  4. I am grateful that in car yesterday morning, Jo helped me
  5. and inspector said WILL get wall looked at!
  6. and went to bank so Jo could start as soon as inspector sees it
  7. and I saw this am, call from jo last night at 8:14
  8. M called early this am
  9. we had good talk
  10. just had good talk with sponsor too
  11. am now chatting with A
  12. so i am NOT alone. not really
  13. plus Higher Power
  14. will go out in couple of nights good
  15. I have been up since 4:23 wowie – but fine and with energy
  16. loved therapist last night
  17. will crochet at am meeting
  18. will bring something i can eat for lunch
  19. maybe they’ll have like sandwich / salad i can eat anyway…. either way
  20. humor
  21. anyone/everyone who appreciates me
  22. met another cute student yesterday
  23. will be fine today
  24. AM fine
  25. now will shower and dress and leave

Journal August 31

I liked the therapist a lot last night. We “finally” session 3, began the work.

I cried in the car am with Jo, going to city about inspector business. You know, was worried about going in to work and seeing everyone. De’s family went to Italy; Je adopted a baby; Ma is happily married in love; K has her large close family and summer house; Me has her loving hubby and boys; B has her great hubby and daughters and great sex life; N has her hubby and boys and beautiful house and was in Hawaii; etc etc etc.
But Jo talked with me and it helped. About how one is happy today then not tomorrow and so on. And family troubles when kid on drugs etc… Must accept and live today’s life and look for the happiness… It helped.
And then last night, started the work with Dr. K and liked her. Have hope. Felt good when left there.

Today is meetings and a get-together at work. I think one of the things that has troubled me is that I was sort of thinking of “throwing myself into my work,” but that’s no way to live. I mean, I’m devoted to the students, of course. But must have more in life. And will.

Appreciate the peace in my house, and Jo and my girlfriends, and my job, and my healgh. Things WILL change in my “personal life.”

Readings August 31

from Hazelden’s Daily Readings:

Thought for the Day

“Call on new prospects while they are still jittery. They may be more receptive when depressed. See them alone if possible. Tell them enough about your drinking habits and experiences to encourage them to speak of themselves. If they wish to talk, let them do so. If they are not communicative, talk about the troubles liquor has caused you, being careful not to moralize or lecture. When they see you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic and tell them how you learned you were sick.” Am I ready to talk about myself to new prospects?

Meditation for the Day

Try not to give way to criticism, blame, scorn, or judgment of others when you are trying to help them. Effectiveness in helping others depends on controlling yourself. You may be swept away by a temporary natural urge to criticize or blame, unless you keep a tight rein on your emotions. You should have a firm foundation of spiritual living which makes you truly humble, if you are going to really help other people. Go easy on them and be hard on yourself. That is the way you can be used most to uplift a despairing spirit. And seek no personal recognition for what you are used by God to accomplish.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may try to avoid judgment and criticism. I pray that I may always try to build up others instead of tearing them down.

My takeaway: I might “have to” sponsor soon…

Therapy – August 30 Session

So, I am to describe, on a scale 1 – 10 or 0 – 10, what I wouldn’t do for J. Where would I draw the line. I don’t understand the scale fully, but I know these things. I would NOT:

kill someone (including an animal)
hurt someone (including and animal)
eat meat or dairy
give up oa
give up therapy
give up meditation
give up my spiritual work
be with criminals as friends
live with drugs taken “in my house”
live with abusive behavior
live with being cheated on
Sept 3 – adding: live with someone who yells at me
live with someone who ignores me
live with someone who always “makes me feel” not good enough
become poor because of other person’s selfishness

Also –
She believes as I work it through, that recurring dream where can’t walk – I’ll stand up and walk in it – or – I just won’t have it anymore!

Gratitudes August 30

  1. I am grateful that I love reading
  2. I am grateful for today’s “For Today” reading.
  3. I am so grateful for my eyesight!
  4. i am grateful for my sponsor, S.
  5. and the talk we had this am. And every day for about 5 x times
  6. and that she understood when I overslept yesterday.
  7. I’m grateful for the upcoming event D and I will go to together
  8. I’m grateful for the woodwork painting raking place here
  9. I’m grateful for this blog, my safe space to say everything
  10. and fb too, where I’m myself just a teensy bit more guarded (work people etc)
  11. I am grateful that I’m DOING gratitudes
  12. I’m grateful for meditations
  13. I’m grateful that soon I’ll be meditating with the children again
  14. I’m grateful for the leaves moving outside on the big tree right now ❤
  15. I’m grateufl for my Higher Power
  16. I’m grateful for Thich Nhat Hanh
  17. I’m grateful for my job. There were years and years when i didn’t feel that. Now I sure do. Emotionally even!
  18. and mentally
  19. and financially
  20. I’m grateful for the Law of Attraction, may i use it daily now!
  21. I’m grateful that I slept last night
  22. and woke up today
  23. that I am not suicidal anymore
  24. I am grateful for that woman who saved me in the wave that time when I was 12 years old
  25. I am grateful that I have “been there” for MT
  26. And I am grateful that Tr has been there for me
  27. Our foursome friendship, MT, Tr, AM, and me
  28. I am grateful for my safety
  29. I am grateful that I am so healthy
  30. that i eat so much better now
  31. my mother’s aides
  32. humor
  33. my house
  34. my kitchen
  35. new faucet
  36. my new bathroom
  37. my yards
  38. my new things I bought for the classroom
  39. the building i work in
  40. taht people are mostly nice to each other
  41. that I am ok. I’m nervous and anxious and lonely and a little scared, but i am okay
  42. showers
  43. my hair
  44. mascara
  45. lipstick
  46. my femininity – refound
  47. books
  48. my piano
  49. my dishwasher – running right now
  50. i WILL get everything done that i need to, today
  51. and be ready for tomorrow’s meetings
  52. i am grateful for my breathing so strong and regular; no more struggles with it
  53. i am so grateful for D
  54. and A
  55. and Tr
  56. and MT
  57. and St
  58. and S
  59. and KC
  60. and JL
  61. and enough money
  62. my legs
  63. that i can walk
  64. the opportunities in this day
  65. my hands
  66. typing
  67. fruit
  68. veggies
  69. bread
  70. my new health food store
  71. and supermarket
  72. on maslow’s hierarchy, I have physiological
  73. and safety
  74. i am working on love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization
  75. and i have parts of those toomaslow-needs.png
  76. color
  77. pictures
  78. memes
  79. those picture walks I used to do for L; i enjoyed them.
  80. AND they helped me for today(s) on fb and beyond
  81. turquoise pens ink. I enjoy them
  82. colored pencils – done in my calendar for work
  83. my piano in the classroom
  84. I DO feel good enough to be a great teacher this year. Yay!
  85. text messages
  86. that they are here on my laptop!
  87. deodorant soap
  88. comfortable shoes and flip-flops
  89. that I don’t drink. Just don’t need to
  90. art
  91. music
  92. elephants
  93. zebras
  94. giraffes
  95. monkeys
  96. lamps
  97. rugs
  98. hardwood floors
  99. my skin health
  100. and my skin beauty
  101. deodorant
  102. some perfume now and then
  103. my sheets
  104. my bed
  105. my pillows
  106. fall weather in the air. I lvoe it. Am so grateful for it. Am so grateful to be here for it.

Affirmations August 30

I am good enough.
I am wonderful.
My life is continuous joy.
I have everything I need and want!
Myu family life is so fulfilling!
My marriage is perfect!
I am so grateful!

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

I am so loved!
Everything is unfolding perfectly for me.
I am secure.
I am comfortable in my loveableness