Readings August 29

DAILY REFLECTIONS:

I CHOOSE ANONYMITY

We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity, is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 187

Since there are no rules in A.A. I place myself where I want to be, and so I choose anonymity. I want my God to use me, humbly, as one of His tools in this program. Sacrifice is the art of giving of myself freely, allowing humility to replace my ego. With sobriety, I suppress that urge to cry out to the world, “I am a member of A.A.” and I experience inner joy and peace. I let people see the changes in my and hope they will ask what happened to me. I place the principles of spirituality ahead of judging fault-finding, and criticism. I want love and caring in my group, so I can grow.

My takeaway: Just yes. That’s all. Really.

Gratitudes August 28

  1. I love my new sponsor
  2. Answering the 15 questions are you a compulsive overeater with like, evidence, Is so powerful. Totally different than just yes or no answers.
  3. Jo will be here painting today
  4. I am so lucky. I was realizing what I get to do each month at this point!
  5. I get to have 2 x my house cleaned each month!
  6. and I get a massage each month!
  7. And I get a specialty pedicure and a plain manicure each month (every 3 weeks, actually)
  8. And I get to do my laundry pleasantly in my own house with new washer and dryer 4 x each month!
  9. And I get to go food shopping 4 x each month!
  10. walking through my house this very morning. Including
  11. able to walk
  12. have my own home
  13. everything is in order
  14. ww leader who shared about doing that – the 3 little ones
  15. yesterday I had a specialty pedicure. Ahhh
  16. AND (plain) manicure
  17. AND 10 minute chair massage
  18. today I’m off from work
  19. that I don’t have MORE responsibilities. I have always been a person who needs sleep, even back in high school! I am glad I am able to get it
  20. and able to fall asleep and stay asleep most nights
  21. and remember my dreams a lot. so interesting
  22. laundry is done
  23. dishwasher is running
  24. will water plants minutes from now
  25. will clean bird cage minutes from now
  26. inspiration
  27. D’s friendship
  28. piano
  29. books
  30. crochet
  31. walks
  32. I walked at mall yesterday yay
  33. bought a very cheap cute little necklace
  34. and a cute top for work. I have 2 new ones now for fall. It’s a start…
  35. think I will hit 25 pounds gone next weekend 🙂
  36. good mother visit yesterday. So thankful.
  37. shopped for her. So grateful that can
  38. and that I’ve done so much spiritual work. Because S (sponsor) pointed that out this morning, sees so soon (we’ve talked 4 days only) how much spiritual wqork I’ve done and am able to give to my mother
  39. I have never been in any kind of horrible natural disaster
  40. I have been to Niagara Falls.
  41. Twice
  42. It is so beautiful
  43. Having found my Higher Power. A year ago February
  44. showers. about to have mine ahhh
  45. epsom salts
  46. dunkin donuts hazelnut coffee, brewed here, with sourdough whole wheat toast dry, dunked in it. Nice.
  47. baths
  48. 2 new pocketbooks
  49. new 2 pillows and little rug for classroom
  50. flowers
  51. vases
  52. my living room. really
  53. my eyesight!
  54. D just called
  55. If I drive to her house, she will drive us to meeting tonight.
  56. IF I want. I don’t HAVE to … 🙂
  57. Jo will be doing some painting today here
  58. If needed, I’ll go (with him) to city about wall issues oy but good to have time to do
  59. Oprah Winfrey. Yes. Really.
  60. my abilities. Including teaching and
  61. piano and
  62. reading and
  63. typing and
  64. walking and
  65. crocheting and
  66. knitting and
  67. needlepoint and
  68. crewel work and
  69. stamped cross stitch and
  70. forgiveness and
  71. starting over
  72. my eyesight!
  73. my ability to read music
  74. fresh greens
  75. fresh fruit
  76. frozen broccoli
  77. frozen fruit
  78. shakeology
  79. eggs from free range chickens, with their darker orange yolks ’cause chickens not in stress
  80. soups
  81. whole grains
  82. water
  83. lentils
  84. chickpeas, especially roasted and dry
  85. i will clean my closet today (gulp)
  86. good bras
  87. my feet
  88. my pretty toenail polished
  89. my new table – no clutter by door:)
  90. I pay my bills monthly yay
  91. love
  92. friendship
  93. sex
  94. humor
  95. laughter
  96. social things
  97. not living to hide and escape and not really live anymore
  98. i get along well with others at work
  99. i get along well with others in general
  100. children. students. ❤

Affirmations August 28

I am good.
I am of God.
My life is perfect.
The Universe is taking perfect care of me.

I lvoe my life!
I have such happy family!
I have such a fabulous marriage!
Thank You!

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal adn filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Readings August 28

As Bill Sees It:

Day of Homecoming (random pick of page)

“As sobriety means long life and happiness for the individual, so does unity mean exactly the same thing to our Society as a whole. Unified we live; disunited we shall perish.”

“We must think deeply of all those sick ones still to come to A.A. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in A.A. that we have found, and yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve A.A.’s constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming.”

My takeaway: I will be a sponsor soon.
And – the happy, joyous, and free life coming, which has already started!

Gratitudes August 27

How much I have to be grateful for!

  1. That I woke up today.
  2. And wanted to! Huge! Years ago I’d awaken and first thought was “Oh fuck. I woke up.” This is so much better than that!!
  3. That I opened my eyes and can see. WHAT a gift!!
  4. My birds singing and chirping and tweeting xoxo Right now.
  5. I practiced and played piano already this am.
  6. Soon will be ready for lesson.
  7. My classroom is nice.
  8. That I did it this past week.
  9. And it only took, 1 1/2 + little under 4 + 4 so 11 1/2 hours wow! Great!
  10. Next week I’l get to do books. That will be fun too.
  11. And I’ll share books with kids to keep – ’cause I have extras! Lots!
  12. I am grateful to all the spiritual work I did for years.
  13. And nows
  14. And oa bringing it to the next level now
  15. and S, my wonderful new sponsor
  16. The questions – the 15 are you a compulsive overeater questions from oa site, and
  17. her saying, Not just yes or no (I have 13 yesses(!)), but paragraph or 2,  like are a lawyer, give evidence. It is awesome doing this way!
  18. I am so grateful for A, and his friendship in my life
  19. My spirituality since I was very little
  20. My massage Friday. It was wonderful. And
  21. I was able to just go with it and not worry about thinking or what thinking or not thinking, or meditating…. just go with it
  22. AND – huge – not to pity him for having to touch me. It came for maybe a second
  23. AND I felt – actually felt – I love my body every inch – inside and out
  24. that I have a backyard
  25. and a front yard
  26. and benches up here outside from door (above street level)
  27. and one side with fence and other side can walk from to back and back to front
  28. the beautiful weather these days
  29. showering every day
  30. turtles.
  31. A’s turtles. Which he got over 25 years ago at the size of like a quarter and are now huge and in a 2-ton tank and thriving!
  32. Golden Girls on tv repeats
  33. Dunkin Donuts coffee grounds to brew here, FROm Dunkin Donuts (’cause the ones from supermarket taste different)
  34. Jo
  35. J
  36. Mother
  37. Ma for her
  38. B for her
  39. ww yesterday. I always think I’ll like the big meeting better. But that small one is great.
  40. I will go today to the Sun one too
  41. About to take shower. In my new shower. With the glass tiles ahhh
  42. Feels like standing under waterfall by large rock formation. I love it!
  43. I am so grateful for my health. To not be worried or suffering. So lucky!
  44. All the food in my house. So much.
  45. Will be eating from what’s here for a while, and only replenishing the produce and perishables and paper goods
  46. that i dropped that whole water container and even though it broke, I’m grateful that the water spilled all over. Becasue Jo was here and I had to empty most f freezer and fridge and he moved it and there was ick under there and HE cleaned it! Then i cleaned out fridge. So it worked out well. Took 45 minutes, all of it, but it worked out for the best!
  47. grateful that he was here!
  48. and helped!
  49. did laundry yetserday
  50. my new bed is SO comfortable! I was uncomfortable in my bed for like 10 years! It is SO good to be comfortable in my bed! When alarm rings, I set snooze and just lay there loving that feeling of comfort!
  51. i am so grateful to be free
  52. and educated
  53. and employed
  54. and a homeowner
  55. and a car owner
  56. my driver’s license
  57. my 2 health food stores that I love, so near
  58. and Trader Joe’s
  59. And Whole Foods, although i stay away ’cause I spend too much there – for now
  60. and even supermarket
  61. I will shop for mother and visit her today or tomorrow (or shop one an dvisit both…)
  62. that I was a cheerleader
  63. and my body cooperated so fully with those moves even the most complex one:)
  64. that I have walked SO MUCH in my life!
  65. my weight is still going down yay
  66. my breath
  67. my brain
  68. my legs
  69. my clothes
  70. my washer
  71. and dryer
  72. and kitchen
  73. with the new cabinets
  74. counters
  75. sink
  76. and BRAND-NEW faucet
  77. my floor plant in sunroom is TWICE the height and width it was when I got it two years ago! 🙂 I am so glad
  78. all my sunroom plants
  79. that I water them once a week
  80. Thich Nhat Hanh
  81. My positivity
  82. These mornings at d.r. table instead of on den or l.r. couch
  83. I am grateful for last night’s oa meeting
  84. i am grateful to love salad with mixed greens and roasted chickpeas lately:)
  85. my hearing.
  86. my piano playing improving so much
  87. because *I am freer*
  88. I am grateful, so grateful, for my hands
  89. I am so grateful for nature. trees
  90. grass
  91. flowers
  92. hedges
  93. bushes
  94. lakes
  95. streams
  96. the sound
  97. ocean
  98. rivers
  99. palisades
  100. the pillows and rug I bought for the mindfulness chill corner I’m making in classroom:)

Affirmations August 27

My life is a wonderful precious gift and phenomenon!
I am so lucky in every way!
I enjoy every day!

I have perfect love in my life!
My marriage is so happy!
I love my family life!

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Readings August 27

Voices of Recovery:
The devout overweight, unable to apply their religious truths, are agnostic as to application.” – A Guide to the Twelve Steps for You and Your Sponsor, p. 6

Over the years, I’ve relapsed periodically, never thinking of it as a rejection of my Higher Power. But it was. I was telling my Higher Power that I had more faith in food than in Him. It was easier to drown my fears in food than to trust my Higher Power to carry me through them. it was easier to believe that God was too busy to care what I ate than to believe that He grieved over every extra bit I took.
One day I realized my lack of faith when I looked down at my plate, feeling an overwhelming sense of fear and panic. There was not enough food! My doubt in my Higher Power became obvious to me. How could I believe He would let me suffer hunger – hunger of the spirit, the mind, and the body? Since then I put my food and faith in God’s hands and my old enemy, the disease, weakens on a daily basis.

My takeaway: This is HUGE for me, HUGE! Yes, my *actions* showed more faith in food and crappy food-like substances and overeating, than in my Higher Power. My Higher Power (basically put, nature), and becoming – enlightened – but there’s another word for growing into own true nature, a regular word, and I just can’t think of it right now – when I do, I’ll come write it – would be to accept that I am here for joy and goodness and compassion and taking care of myself is a great good thing. Awakened –

Journal

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just part of my journey to be “always” aware of how I am feeling…
I have to accept that – at least for now – MAYBE someday I won’t be so ever-aware of feelings feelings feelings
In the meantime, I am SO grateful for the amount of time I feel okay or better than that! And I will continue to do my “morning work (much of which you see here) to set up my day for the good…. ❤
My oa work I do in a Microsoft Word document – don’t know – maybe will eventually or soon put here too…?

Gratitudes August 26

I don’t know how many there’ll be, but they’re big.

  1. I’m so grateful for yesterday. It was wonderful in every way.
  2. Woke up and did my spiritual work
  3. Saw jo
  4. Talked to sponsor. Great talk.
  5. Made bed etc all perfect here.
  6. Nice shower
  7. Looked cute
  8. Makeup too
  9. D contacted me to make plans for later
  10. E called and we chatted a little when I called back
  11. Went to classroom
  12. Jo brought cabinet there for me! That he’d put the piece of wood on and painted.
  13. And got to see my classroom
  14. Said how big it was – which gave me a perspective, as it is small compared to others I’ve had in this district hmm.
  15. Second day in a erow felt fine and great doing it – without J. MIRACLE
  16. Finished pretty much! (Hadn’t found one box til was leaving, so will do that little one next week – nbd. And books not in yet so couldn’t do those)
  17. Tr called me back and reminded me what we did with all the books lol how COULD I have forgotten
  18. and we had a nice talk ❤
  19. As I went to table with last 3 things on it, timer rang – great timing!
  20. Left it looking great
  21. WEnt straight to massage
  22. During massage, I didn’t stress about if thinking or not or what to think, or meditate…. – just went with it!
  23. Was a great massage! I let go. Ahh
  24. When walking from massage to my car, I thought, “Oh my God, my life is perfect.” THAT’S how good I felt! Am SO grateful for that
  25. Stopped at health food store briewfly
  26. D came and came upstairs and she loved my new furniture
  27. We went to outdoor mall ahhhh and shopped a little. I bought 2 pillows and a rug for mindfulness area in classroom
  28. I love the big pillow – it looks zen – like a mandal
  29. and I love the littler one, which is a gorg color and has happy fringe
  30. and I love the rug which is great to finger and play with
  31. and I got a wonderful bright little pocket book
  32. and a lwess bright but colorful bigger one
  33. and a great top I love
  34. All that for 140
  35. and I helped D pick 2 fabulous tops and a great pair of jeans
  36. then we had dinner
  37. we had such fun!
  38. So my day was great spiritually, emotionally, mentally, work, social. So grateful.
  39. Even practiced a LITTLE piano and
  40. had nice Jo hug and
  41. chat with M am when she called
  42. I met one of my incoming students – a doll!
  43. and her dad was nice too
  44. I realized i am very lucky with these extravagances. Cause every moenth I have: a massage, and
  45. a fancy pedicure and
  46. a mani (short and no polish cause piano
  47. and 2x house cleaned
  48. and 4 times groceries. Wow that’s a lot
  49. I now like doing laundry – np. Love my new washer and dryer and clean basement and attitude – those have changed things
  50. And I like my grocery shopping too
  51. I love coming home to my clean house ahh
  52. D gave me a huge compliment. We were talking about people sitting near us and others with exotic good looks. I said, “You are a little exotic. I’m not. I’m plain. I’m fine with that but I’m not exotic.” She said – she actually said, “You’re not plain. What you are is glamorous.” Wow!
  53. I dress nicely now.
  54. I DO look nice every day.
  55. The light yellow flowers on my d.r. table right here.
  56. books
  57. that I love to read
  58. and always did
  59. it kind of saved me in fourth grade. Every night, in my room with the built-ins and the books light and my special book(s)
  60. good piano practice this am
  61. i love my fingers. I love moving them.
  62. I am SO grateful that I can see
  63. and SO grateful that I am normal now an dcan even enjoy life
  64. SO grateful that I FINALLY care about eating for nutrition ad caring for my body
  65. think will take epsom salt bath later ahhh
  66. During massage yesterday, I was able to feel like I just love my body. All of it. Inside and out
  67. and NOT feel bad for him that he had to touch it.
  68. Just day before yesterday, I considered quitting this therapist and oa steps and sponsr – but I felt better yesterfday, so we’ll see – maybe it IS all working – can pick another therapist if need to – and program, can “leave the rest” take what can use – and pray on it

 

Affirmations August 26

My life is perfect.
I have perfect eyesight.
I have perfect health.
I have perfect love.
I am so lucky!
I am so fortunate!

I love my happy marriage and family life!
Every day is filled with joy!

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. i look forwarfd to every moment.