Major Journal Entry Dec 22

I need a life.
I need a life – more family – more love.
I need to not skip meditation.
I need to not eat crap.
Then all the little bullshit things won’t get to me.
Can’t wait to see my precious mother tomorrow; need to hear her say I love you.
That’s all.

Gratitudes Dec 19

  1. People will be coming in a week or so to do manifestation boards together!
  2. I will make it nice for them!
  3. For *us*!
  4. The meditation I just did. Oh, I love it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoqD2BeFQtk
  5. Today is a special thing at work for a few minutes
  6. My mother, although not good yesterday, has had like 18 good days in a row til then! Who knows about today…
  7. Although she got the wrong one, a coworker picked up something for me at the store and that was nice of her
  8. I have been able to afrord all that I need and more, all my life. Phew.
  9. My house is in such good order
  10. It is calming this way
  11. I get along with almost everybody (one, virtually no one likes – and I am working on my compassion there too, and do “get along”)
  12. My students
  13. Some difficulties that didn’t occur yesterday
  14. They were SO interested in my piano playing!
  15. Chopin ❤
  16. Computer guy helped me
  17. Vaca soon
  18. Books
  19. My Nook
  20. Biographies
  21. Lighter books too
  22. Like Laurien Berenson dog show people mysteries
  23. And those Lydia Adamson cat ones I used to like too (I think they don’t have anymore, for years now)
  24. My d.r. drapers
  25. Riced cauliflower
  26. D’s call yesterday morning
  27. Tr
  28. MT
  29. M
  30. Ma (mother’s aide)
  31. N
  32. St
  33. D
  34. P
  35. My job
  36. My SmartBoard
  37. My piano in the classroom
  38. This laptop ❤
  39. fb
  40. L
  41. A
  42. Jo
  43. his family
  44. I WILL have family someday
  45. my spirituality
  46. clothes
  47. coat
  48. scarf
  49. hat
  50. gloves
  51. My eyesight
  52. Hope
  53. My ability to walk
  54. My place to do food shopping
  55. That I keep up with laundry
  56. My cleaning lady (every other week) is back from her trip
  57. Dr Phil (sometimes lol)
  58. My ability to sleep so well
  59. My beachbody friends
  60. My interesting dreams!
  61. My mindfulness yesterday!
  62. Eating better
  63. Water
  64. My ability to read. I’m so grateful for that
  65. coloring – maybe will do some soon
  66. and painting too
  67. and of course, piano
  68. and maybe writing
  69. birds (outside)
  70. my birdies

Affirmations Dec 19 (have had dates wrong last few days lol)

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

I accept my power.

I experience love wherever I go. Loving people fill my life, and I find myself easily expressing love to others.

This is a new day. I begin anew and claim and create all that is good. And so it is.

Affirmations Dec 19

My self-esteem is high because I honor who I am.

Every decision I make is the right one for me.

I choose to feel good about myself each day. Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.

Life brings me only good experiences. I am open to new and wonderful changes.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Gratitudes Dec 18

  1. My mother has had like 18 good days in a row omg!
  2. I had a wonderful day Sat
  3. Visited with Mar
  4. Got dental implant finished. 9 month process. Finally finished yay!
  5. Went out with Tr and MT – for 4 1/2 hours. Wonderful time. We talked, shared, cried and laughed.
  6. meditation. May I do it every day and stop skipping…
  7. Tapping. I just did 4 minutes of it. Twice.
  8. And before that, I did this 5 minute calming guided meditation and loved it
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i50ZAs7v9es
  9. For the tapping, Nick Ortner said easiest to first identify place where pain in the body – and I have none! I have no pain in my body!
  10. And I am breathing!
  11. And I can see
  12. Just had healthy veggie intensive breakfast
  13. ww yesterday
  14. Great visit with my mother yesterday
  15. AM going in to work today. Can’t express how much wanted to just stay home and take care of self. But the things are: I get paid to be there/ I wouldn’t wind up “taking care” all day, but would at best waste and at worst overeat/ so it is the right thing to do to be there, in every way.
  16. my ability to forgive
  17. enjoyed Columbo last night
  18. coming along with the crocheting
  19. showers
  20. getting the laundry done this weekend
  21. and making the veggie sauce
  22. and the stew
  23. shopping
  24. and shopping for mother too
  25. that I have a coat phew
  26. my breath. Have had some deep ones this morning
  27. my birds
  28. I DO get it all done
  29. I have an invite for Christmas Eve! Yay!
  30. People coming here few days after
  31. hope
  32. life
  33. change
  34. this day
  35. my house. my comfy perfect sized little house
  36. squirrels
  37. trees
  38. my ride to work
  39. i will put gas in the car today
  40. will come home and veg
  41. WILL find a way to have one “lazy day” a week (Thich Nhat Hanh’s term – and really, every religion has traditionally had one…)
  42. my sink
  43. my new stove
  44. my new dishes
  45. water
  46. deodorant
  47. my clothes
  48. my shoes
  49. my boots
  50. ordered new slippers (mine are ripped)
  51. amethysts
  52. my sleep – phew
  53. my dreams
  54. my bed
  55. my books
  56. my den
  57. my tv
  58. my sofa
  59. my l.r. furniture
  60. my Nook
  61. this laptop
  62. my school laptop
  63. my iPad mini
  64. friendly people
  65. like yesterday at ww
  66. PW (from oa)
  67. MAYBE I’ll do the dbt thing with her and L
  68. M
  69. Tr
  70. MT
  71. D
  72. P
  73. L
  74. A
  75. N
  76. my students – even though a few were VERY difficult the last few days, I am grateful for my students
  77. that i can function – physically and emotionally
  78. that I am me (wow, I can’t believe I said that)
  79. fb
  80. this blog
  81. comments (when they’re legit)
  82. Julie
  83. beachbody
  84. my spirituality
  85. my bracelet – spiritual one – that I bought myself for Christmas
  86. that I am nice
  87. I am cute
  88. I am a good deal for someone
  89. I will find love again. REAL love
  90. I will have a fam
  91. my wall is up
  92. and the other side too. Wow what a long journey. But is done
  93. and looks nice
  94. my bills are paid – phew
  95. biodots
  96. crochet
  97. walking. I love to walk. I am so grateful that I can
  98. meds when needed
  99. I don’t need many
  100. my health

Affirmations Dec 18

I take brisk walks in the sunshine to invigorate my body and soul.

My income is constantly increasing.

All that I need to know at any given moment is revealed to me. My intuition is always on my side.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Journal Dec 18

My mother has had like 18 good days. I can hardly believe it. It is a miracle. She is old; she is sick; she is declining. But to have had over 2 weeks good, omg! I am SO grateful on her behalf. AND – so grateful to be able to enjoy visits. WHAT a relief. Our miracle. So grateful
I’m so glad I got to know this new person she is now. With parts still of the always person.

Gratitudes Dec 15

  1. Jo did come yesterday morning and clean snow phew. Off car and stairs
  2. Later sidewalk (or get ticket)
  3. I got in safely
  4. the car trouble turned out to be nothing
  5. practiced piano a little at lunchtime
  6. principal friendly to me
  7. i can see
  8. i can talk
  9. i can walk
  10. i can drive
  11. i can eat
  12. i can drink
  13. hot coffee – x 2 – this morning
  14. my bed
  15. snuggly in it at night
  16. with Nook
  17. D and P gonna come for game night
  18. i sleep
  19. i have interesting dreams
  20. therapy appointment wed was good – good enough
  21. house is in order ahhhh
  22. did health food store shopping yesterday
  23. today will see mother
  24. and then do supermarket shopping
  25. good (enough) day at work
  26. breathing!!
  27. my car
  28. my music cabinet
  29. my kitchen
  30. reading 9 I HOPE to read in l.r. soon (i usually don’t but keep meaning to)
  31. my quinoa and veggies lunch yesterday
  32. and today will have the rest
  33. the beautiful red anjou pears, organic, that I  bought yesterday – just had one – sweet and luscious
  34. will make my zucchini and tomatoes tomorrow
  35. and see friends for late lunch/early dinner after dentist yay!
  36. will shop for mother sunday
  37. enough. i do have enough.
  38. enough money
  39. enough food
  40. enough clothes
  41. i have a coat this year phew
  42. i have been through a LOT – a LOT – and GOTTEN through it –
  43. so i know i can get through anything “anything”
  44. this blog
  45. helping someone this morning yay
  46. my calm breaths right now as I look around my pretty home and think about having helped someone this morning
  47. ice packs. yes, really
  48. my hair. yes, really
  49. my hands! in so many ways! typing
  50. piano
  51. needework
  52. driving
  53. all things with my hands
  54. ordered nice meaningful bracelet for self for holiday present
  55. A
  56. L
  57. DM
  58. MM
  59. MT
  60. Tr
  61. St
  62. M
  63. D
  64. P
  65. N
  66. compassion
  67. my veganism 100% again now phew!

Affirmations Dec 15

I am pain free and totally in sync with life.

I am in perfect health.

I take in and give out nourishment in perfect balance.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Journal Dec 15

Am looking forward to my Manifestation Board making get-together!
Am looking to start weekly or bi-weekly meditation group
Am hoping for weekly or bi-weekly game night

Don’t know if these will work out, but at least I’m opening up.
Glad to “have to” work, or I might become too much of a hermit in the cold!
Looking forward to eating better the next level – discussed with my therapist (only go once a month ’cause is all can afford but that works out for me)

Looking to change up my “dailies” a bit – will by Jan 1