Gratitudes June 30 2018

  1. Jo and other worker are downstairs to work in basement so no water anymore …
  2. Jo bought the plunger and has worked on sink! Will get that fixed up today (I hope and think). Yay
  3. Law of Attraction
  4. D
  5. M
  6. nice plans today
  7. after ww meeting
  8. which is also nice
  9. had healthy breakfast
  10. have healthy lunch all picked out (from place we are going)
  11. Tr
  12. N
  13. MT
  14. AM
  15. O
  16. St
  17. Will see St this coming week
  18. A
  19. L
  20. J in my life
  21. Jo in my life
  22. the stick-on mirror
  23. will get new mirror Monday
  24. that I HAVE the hundreds available to do this work after someone hit my car
  25. my eyesight
  26. hot showers
  27. beaches
  28.  pools
  29. water to drink
  30. a roof over my head
  31. freedom
  32. coffee
  33. tea
  34. doctors
  35. eye doctor
  36. eye drops
  37. pharmacy
  38. and they deliver
  39. I am not sick
  40. I have health
  41. and compared to most of the world, wealth
  42. and a job
  43. and teeth
  44. and a car
  45. that is registered
  46. and inspected
  47. and gassed up
  48. and only 3 years old
  49. and low mileage
  50. and just right for me
  51. and not low profile tires, which always caused me trouble on other car
  52. and has a/c (although weak lol)
  53. my house
  54. that i own
  55. with no mortgage now phew!
  56. the pavers i FINALLY had put on patio
  57. and walkways fixed back and
  58. side
  59. soon front steps redone
  60. and new driveway (these things old and needed)
  61. the retaining wall. Finally.
  62. Jo will take me to city to get stones-left-out tickets lowered
  63. I pay my bills
  64. I take care of my birdies
  65. I am cute
  66. I have good hair
  67. and skin
  68. my sweet mother may she now RIP
  69. my dear father may he now RIP
  70. my dear past dog M
  71. the happy chirping of my birds in the house
  72. my piano
  73. the book I’ve finally started writing
  74. giraffes. yes really
  75. people who work to save the enviroment
  76. people (including me) who don’t eat animals
  77. my brain
  78. I have many years – good years – ahead of me probably
  79. CG ran into other day. we will have lunch
  80. KB
  81. MG
  82. See? I really am NOT alone.
  83. My sis
  84. my niece
  85. my nephew
  86. my great niece
  87. and my other great niece
  88. my college education
  89. and my Masters degree
  90. and about 100 credits past it
  91. I am a very good teacher
  92. I am good for children. Phew ❤
  93. flowers on table right here
  94. flowers outside
  95. grass in front
  96. and back
  97. and fences
  98. so much done and redone around here!
  99. that I make enough. Enough
  100. The truth is, I have all the conditions for happiness (as Thich Nhat Hahn says). And I must simple DECIDE to be happy. DECIDE I AM happy. And I do. Right now.

 

Readings June 30 2018

Honor all of who you are. Live with what you love, and let everything else continue its journey. Celebrate your passions and pleasures and give them places to thrive in the paradise of your own making. Cherish the sacred essence in everyone and everything. You’re here to experience a continuum of love as vast as you can imagine. It is the Way.
Terah Kathryn Collins

Affirmations June 30 2018

I say thank you to all the wonderful blessings in my life.

I attract positive circumstances and positive people into my life.

I visualize my ideal life and I watch it manifest.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

I am an open channel for creative ideas.

Everything in my life works now and forevermore.

I am attracting my soulmate and my life is full of love and joy.

All areas of my life are abundant and filling.

Journal June 30 2018

I have realized – wow:
I love who I AM. I appreciate who I AM.
But – at the same time, I feel unacceptable to others and I shrink and become almost invisible – almost non-existent.
Interesting how I got fat – maybe soas to rebel against the becoming invisible and non-existent. I WILL be noticed…

Even walking into store with Jo, I’ll be behind him, and head down. Yesterday walking to car out front with him to put stick-on mirror on, he was on sidewalk and I was in STREET! AND – I LITERALLY almost walked INTO the back of the parked car a couple of houses up. Because I was looking down!
Wow.
That’s sad.

I find myself – unacceptable.
It is partly the rejection/ abandonment thing.
And partly the don’t-want-to-make-waves-don’t-want-to-compete (related, according to former shrink, through mother, to the rejection/abandonment thing).

But this!:dc4697c78a2658216b366217bc599b15.jpg
And may I learn it now!

Journal June 29 2018

So – what about this
When watching 600 lb life,
I think: HOW could those people DO it????
Well – maybe one of the answers is BECAUSE they are SO big, and are desperate for the bariatric surgery, and are frequently in Houston on their own temporarily while going through it,
Maybe they are AWARE it is temporary (the 800 calorie a day or whatever) – (or maybe it isn’t temporary but the living situation is or they THINK the eating is)
ANYWAY, I won’t ALWAYS be sitting here alone at night and trying desperately not to eat. Maybe I need to remember it is TEMPORARY, this situation (and of course I am not at the point they are and do not need surgery – which are bonuses) but TEMPORARY – might help me through…without depression…

Affirmations June 29 2018

I devote a portion of my time to helping others. It is good for my health.

Perfect health is my Divine Right and I claim it now.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

I am pain-free and totally in sync with life.