Things to Remember – Today’s Journal – and for Therapist – June 10, 2018

I am home sick with pneumonia.
PNEUMONIA. Again!

i realize how much emotional is involved

 

i have been under TREMENDOUS pressure
 i have allowed it
 like not good enough
 must this must that
 i must change that now
 

 

that’s why i think it is emotional
fear about money/ fear that sister will hate me/ fear that no man will love me/ fear that i’m not good enough at work/ fear that i don’t look good enough/ fear that i am not energetic enough/ fear fear fear

MUST change THAT

realizing today – 2nd day home SICK WITH PNEUMONIA(!) that can’t even sit or lie down and read until all is done – birds (ok fine on that one) / dishes/ shower/ look ok enough/ straightened/ etc etc. Thats all well and good to get that stuff done but I CAN’T TAKE A BREATH – the stress of not doing enough – not being good enough – not being WORTHWHILE – is in my chest!
Will ask Dr K can I come week of 27th plus once a week for july and twice for august! MUST make changes – and GENTLY with self!
xoxo to me

now will take shower and set up humidifier. is 10:49 shouldn’t i be able to rest by now up since 7 oy
Update 11:39
Took hot bath. Helped.
Put on vicks vapo rub. Helped.
Started to let go and relax. Helping.
Humidifier not working. Won’t let self get upset about it.
1:18PM

Anger:If you want to create better health in your body, there are definitely some things you must not do. You must not get angry at your body for any reason. Anger is another affirmation, and it’s telling your body that you hate it, or parts of it. Your cells are very aware of every thought you have.Anxiety/Nervousness:
Distrust the natural flow of life.
Affirmation: I love and approve of myself and I trust in the process of life. I am safe.Breath:
Represents the ability to take in life.

Breathing Problems:
Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Getting stuck in childhood. Fear of taking in life fully.
Affirmation: I love life. It is safe to live
**Fear or refusal to take in life fully. Not feeling the right to take up space or even exist.
**Affirmation: It is my birthright to live fully and freely. I am worth loving. I now choose to live life fully.

**Breath represents the ability to take in life.
**I love life. It is safe to live.

Breathing Problems:
Fear of the refusal to take in life. Not feeling worthy to take up space.
Affirmation: It is my birthright to live fully and freely. I am worth loving. I now choose to live life fully.
Affirmation: I experience peace and harmony within myself and all around me. All is well.

Bronchitis:
Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling.
Affirmation: I experience peace and harmony within myself and all around me. All is well.

Fat:
**Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger & resistance to forgive.
**Affirmation: I am protected by Divine Love. I am always safe and secure. I am willing to grow up and take responsibility for my life. I forgive others & now create my own life the way I want it. I am safe.

Overweight:
Fear and shows a need for protection
(Same affirmation)

Flu:
Responding to mass negativity. Putting too much faith in statistics.
Affirmation: I am beyond group beliefs or the calendar. I am free from all congestion and influence.

Pneumonia:
Desperate. Tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal.
Affirmation: I freely take in Divine ideas that are filled with the breath and the intelligence of life.
This is a new moment.

Respiratory:
Fear of taking in life fully.
Affirmation: I am safe. I love my life.

4:33pm
Just ate stuff I shouldn’t be eating. Lot of sugar.
And remembering NY after married to Ji under a year. me 24 him 23. and I said to him, “Don’t die this year.”
God that hurts to admit.
How sad.
How sick.
How pathetic.

 

4:49 More truth than I’ll ever want to admit (from internet):

Oh Pisces… everyone hates you because you have too many feels. Like seriously, it’s just brunch, it’s not a heart-exploding blessing from the universe about love and friendship. It’s literally bacon and mimosas. Please stop crying.

Feels don’t always mean being a mush pile. Rihanna is a Pisces, and she uses her massive feels to be fierce. You’re not Rihanna, though. You’re just really bitchy sometimes, especially when your feelings are hurt, which is another reason people hate you.

Me: I’m not clingy
Someone: doesn’t talk to me for a day
Me: (pic wrapped in blanket)

Oh no. We have a stage 5 clinger alert! If a Pisces is really into you, they can be clingy like no other sign. And since they take everything so personally, you can’t even tell them you need space without their world ending — and without more of the dang crying. Seriously. Please stop crying, Pisces.

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