Happy Happy Journal July 31 2018

 

The doctor called. Results came back all fine.
Another test waiting for results but “not related” more routine.
And – odd because is like scar tissue or something (nothing ever happened there) so she wants to see me in about 3 weeks and to check that hard part that goes into vaginal wall
Fine! Happy to go!

Now – the “work” is to look at those thoughts I had with my feet up in the stirups – that phew I don’t have to go away with D in Aug and that if dying, all I want is some good time with J. So I have some changes to make.
********But the REAL “work” is – to JUST FEEL GOOD. Be in the feel-good as much as possibly can.

Also – this has been a GOOD thing. Because I have just spent like 4 days on the positives. For maybe 2 hours total I was very nervous – and otherwise – positive positive positive. And eating better. and well – just literally filling myself with positivies.
Good.

If anyone reads my blog, I want to thank you. When I see numbers that some people ARE reading it, it means the world to me. That I’m not alone, and also that maybe I can inspire/help someone.
I shouldn’t say IF – the numbers show that some do xo

Later now –
My attitude has been: life. I am well or I am sick. Just live this moment best happiest way can.
Now my attitude can become: Life. I get what I want in this relationship or I don’t. Now just live this moment best happiest way can.

To remember and learn for future also though:
How disappointed I was “alone” and Jo’s coldness and what if the workers weren’t here working how alone  but how I turned that into: *I* will grow into new place by next year. *I* will take care of ME. Right now SELF-CARE and Universe and things will be different by next summer

and the greatest thing you (I  – we – one) can do is FEEL. GOOD. NOW. somehow. IN this moment feel good.

Much later now.
I feel good.
And I think this concentration – this focus on feel good and all this Hicks and Louis Hay “work” – practice not work 🙂 – has gotten me to feel that :
I MUST feel good.
I tis my JOB to feel good.
So, like instead of sitting here like, “Alone. No j> … … ” I am sitting here just feeling good. same circumstances. different feeling.
Wow.

– Later still:
May I never forget the lessons.
So easy to forget.
May I remember.
The lessons like:
Just. Feel. Good.
You will be well. you will be sick. Just enjoy this day. Live this day.
A new lease on life.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
If not J, someone else.
Either don’t do the things you hate and dread, or find a way to love them!
Keep filling yourself with the positives. Because it works.
I didn’t WANT chemo. Or surgery. Or hospitalization.
I DID want work. And to not stress over it.
And friends. Loved ones.
Having house in order inside and out was such a comfort.
I can and want to put my OWN health mental and physical and spiritual, first.
I do have a great life.

 

Law of Attraction – 2nd today July 31 2018

from

Easiest Way To Get Into Receptive Mode [Learn To Receive]

What’s manifesting is based on where you’re hanging out on this emotional… whre your tuner is set.
Whatever your reception is about is all you’re letting in. overwhelming or victim or… whatever thoughts you are practicing.

Easy button — sleep
Always here for a moment when awaken until being pondering and considering dilemmas…

whatever been reveling in is usually what makes up your dreams

DON’T TRY TO CONTROL ANY OUTCOMES/ MANIFESTATION.
DO WHAT YOU CAN TO CONSIDER WHERE YOU ARE VIBRATIONALLY EMOTIONALLY.
– easy button approach.

Don’t make too much of it. Take whichever path is most upstream. If neither feel good, just let go and float upstream.
It’s about wanting to feel good and know what thoughts take you off.
Acknowledge that thought led to that and next time come across that thought, might have more control over it.
Decisions are about  how you FEEL not about the nitty gritty of what you are deciding.
Diffuse negative focus and in time it won’t be part of the mix.
At same time, focus more positiviely.
Is about how you feel and guiding yourself appropriately.

Receptive and replenishing mode are same
Everything you want comes from that.
Things YOU’VE specifically asked for so get into that receptive mode = most wonderful way to live life.

And just knowing when your’re there makes you more likely to want to do that
And do NOT beat up on self when in receptive mode of what not really want. Livein gin Step 5

Correlation between what think and feeling and how plays out
Even when don’t want – YOU are in charge of what comes = wonderful – deliberate creator of own experience.

In your NOW you have more latitude than you’ve been giving yourself credit

You have already filled your Vortex full of the decision that are important to you.
Now just watch how lovely life plays out.
You will witness the evidence of your alignment (or misalignment). The evidence of it is a lovely thing.

Facing reality keeps active the vibrations that keeps bringing the same results. It does not have to be that way. You are not facer you are creator of your reality!

Watch words of friends too. If not feel good – why worried about hurting their feelings by changing conversation?

Everything you’ve ever wanted, you’ve wanted so you’d feel better when get. Well –
****Feel better BEFORE you get it or else you can’t get it***
About the essence/ idea of it/ in receiving mode to even ask/ all of it. It’s time for you to start being proud of where you stand in this world. You’re doing really well. You are a MASTER OF CREATION!

Your worthiness is such that everything that you conclude is backed up and understood by Source completely. And the energy that creates worlds is focused on your behalf.
Time for you to line up with the focus that’s focused on your behalf. And if you do anything less than that, you’ll feel frustration, or worse.

Law of Attraction July 31 2018

From:

Receptive mode
Path of least resistance

There are no limitations for your inner being’s ability to reach you, wherever you are
the more relaxed you are…!
Chill and relax
Beach etc (she said, yes)

Focus not on what you want to let go, but on what you want to let IN.
Not letting go, or losing something. Letting in, and gaining something.
Getting INto the vortex. Getting INto the receptive mode.

Step 5 is not being mad at yourself for being in Step 1. – – Self – look up the steps.

Haha – and just now she gives them:
Step 1 Ask.
Because knowing what you don’t want and knowing what you do want causes you to ask.

Step 2 Not your work. Source answers. That’s what the Vortex is. That’s all that’s coming together. That’s that building of all that momentum in the Vortex.

Step 3 Being in receptive mode so that you can allow what you are asking for to come into your awareness.

Step 4 Mastering – becoming master of Step 3. In the category of not trying to let go of it but instead allowing it.
Getting a sense of what the FEELING of being in the receptive mode is

Step 5 Being aware that while you are most often in the rec mode because you have mastered it, that because of your powerful desire that you were born with that you will never give up, this powerful desire to continue to move forward to cont to have more things to ask for to cont to give birth to more desires – then Step 1 is a necessary and imp part of the equation
So Step 5 is understanding that. Understanding that Step 1 is gonna come up over and over again. But once you’ve mastered being in the receiving mode, then Step 1 is something that you don’t dread or fear or try to let go of; it’s something that you embrace. Because you understand that that’s where all the juice is.

Be consistently in that receptive mode = such a wonderful thing
Self – how – will look for that next. is ok…

Step 5 is understanding that the real world is ok. That the contrast is always serving you.
You are always NATURALLy fulafilling step 1
2 has never been your job. things like are drawn to – become bigger than you could acknowledge consciously
3 bec on beach/ chilled out/ let go/ not worried about this or that/ are in receptive mode/ often accidentally… just having followed natural instinct to want to feel good/
So 1, 2, 3 don’t even have to know about them!
But now is where the mastery comes in. Starting to notice the rel between how felt and what is turning out. there IS a vibrational  thing that’s going on that you can FEEL even before manifestation. Mastery of creation is – you gotta know what’s going on before there’s a manifestation that tells the tale of what’s going on.
Understanding that the bet you feel, the more in the receptive mode you are
Step 5 = relaxing in to the absolute understanding that it is right for you to have been born into a world of contrasts. Must fall in love with Step 1. Must love yourself so much no matter what is going on. Feel your worthiness no matter what’s going on.
V you offering powerful signal that L of A has been responding to for a very long time. The power of that V puts you in position of not ever having to fear where you are. Because the power of the V will always call you. It will always prevail.
Experience. Ask. Receive. While still here in this physical body.

Thank You.

Okay. So.

Step 1 Ask.
Because knowing what you don’t want and knowing what you do want causes you to ask.
**I want to be with someone. In a good relationship lifelong. And I want that someone to be J. But Your Will be done. I want it to be GOOD.
**I want my health.

Step 2 Not your work. Source answers. That’s what the Vortex is. That’s all that’s coming together. That’s that building of all that momentum in the Vortex.

Step 3 Being in receptive mode so that you can allow what you are asking for to come into your awareness.

Step 4 Mastering – becoming master of Step 3. In the category of not trying to let go of it but instead allowing it.
Getting a sense of what the FEELING of being in the receptive mode is

Step 5 Being aware that while you are most often in the rec mode because you have mastered it, that because of your powerful desire that you were born with that you will never give up, this powerful desire to continue to move forward to cont to have more things to ask for to cont to give birth to more desires – then Step 1 is a necessary and imp part of the equation
So Step 5 is understanding that. Understanding that Step 1 is gonna come up over and over again. But once you’ve mastered being in the receiving mode, then Step 1 is something that you don’t dread or fear or try to let go of; it’s something that you embrace. Because you understand that that’s where all the juice is.

 

Positive Aspects July 31 2018 #20

Write the name or a brief description of someone or something that you always feel good about.
Then: What do I like about you?
Why do I love you so much?
What are your positive aspects?

Me

What do I like about you?
You really try!
You try to do the RIGHT thing.
You have integrity.
You keep confidences.
You do not eat animals!
You are cute.
You are a good friend to your friends.
You look for the positives.
You care about others.
You have compassion.
You are good to children.
You are smart.
You are funny. People always tell you that.
You have spirituality.
You never ever give up.
You were so good to your mother.
You do not hold grudges. Ever!

Why do I love you so much?
You are me. I am here. (switching to I now, I think):
God made me.
I am of Higher Power
And Higher Power is in me.
I go for the Nobles causes.
I give at work because mainly of conscience.
And because also – I get paid so I owe a good job
When the kids are driving me crazy, I remember: This little one is someone’s sunshine and moon and stars! Treat him/her as such. (few times a year?)
On the rare occasion when that’s not enough (once a year? less?) I pretend there is a whole wall of 1-way mirror and everyone can see me. – See? I do WHATEVER it takes.
I have taken from my father, to try to see the best in everyone.
I love nature.
People like me.
I have inspired several.
I am honest.
I am kind.
I keep the big promises.
I am there when someone is suffering, to support.
I do what I have to every day.
I have made the TREMENDOUS change(s) it is huge, really. I am so proud of me.
I am loyal.
I truly WANT what’s best for others.
I love you because I really WANT to take care of you.
You have been through so much (switched to “you” because makes sense here, and coming back from positive aspects part below)
I WANT to comfort you.
I WANT you to have joy also.
I care for you, Dear One.
You ARE lovable. You ARE enough. You do not have to prove it anymore. You never did HAVE TO.

What are your positive aspects?
I sleep well.
I am a good cook.
I can plyay piano
I am creative.
I do beautiful need work. People have asked HOW I get it so beautiful. I have said: Two reasons. 1 is I do it for the enjoyment of the stitch. And 2 is Willingness to rip out.
I am a VERY fast typist.
I got my wherewithall from my mother.
I look for the best.
I have slowed down. A LOT> On purpose. It has taken work to do so.
i pray.
I have enough energy.
I am more mellow than I used to be. (although stil a way to go:)
I go to therapy.
I am generous
I have pretty hair.
I have beautiful eyes.
I have a pretty smile.
I am losing weight
I have beautiful breasts.
I have pretty feet.
I dress nicely every day now.
I even look cute in the things I wear to bed.
I keep a nice home.
I am welcoming
I am hospitable
I am fun and bright at ww meetings.
I am sincere

God bless me.

 

Journal July 31 2018

I have been ok – better than ok – since the dr news on Friday. I am SO grateful about this.
I had about – an hour and a half? last night when I was pretty nervous.
And – I ate. Oy. But if technically I am ok ’cause of weeklies. I had no toaster over or microwave on top of the nervousness (electrical work not finished) and I was too nervous.
But that’s not bad. VERY different than it would have been a few years ago!
So today or tomorrow I find out results of first test. After that is 2nd test.

A says I must tell J.
*I* feel -wait and tell J after know either way.

If I know me, I’ll probably be back here later… Will continue my spiritual stuff now, and then my health-life readings and piano and maybe a bit of painting… Maybe ww. Maybe some cooking.
Did the laundry yesterday. Will put away today.

And now, during youtube Hicks listening – hm – it makes sense – like when I used to do magazines, tv, and just keep nb nearby – my best thoughts would come to me – ’cause I was chilled—
Also – another positive – it is July 31 – I’d forgotten July has 31 days and had thought it was August 1. So I just gained a day:)
My instincts ARE good (the chill thing)
Also – NOW I can sit in yard to sit in yard
And last – for now – this C scare is a GOOD thing. Because it has nudged me to the take-care-of-self AND enjoy whatever-the-fuck I want, that I have always WANTED to live in summer

Reading July 31 2018

An inquiry into the true nature of receiving also reveals that receiving is a prelude to giving. Receiving and giving are two sides of the same coin. They are the yin and yang of creation. They are the vice versa of abundance. In other words, your capacity to receive is what determines your capacity to give; and the more freely you give, the more freely you are given to.
Robert Holden Ph.D.

 

Affirmations July 31 2018

I am an open channel for creative ideas.

I handle my own life with joy and ease.

I rejoice in the love I encounter every day, your love and my love.

I am in perfect health.

I am safe!

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.