Journal July 31 2018

I have been ok – better than ok – since the dr news on Friday. I am SO grateful about this.
I had about – an hour and a half? last night when I was pretty nervous.
And – I ate. Oy. But if technically I am ok ’cause of weeklies. I had no toaster over or microwave on top of the nervousness (electrical work not finished) and I was too nervous.
But that’s not bad. VERY different than it would have been a few years ago!
So today or tomorrow I find out results of first test. After that is 2nd test.

A says I must tell J.
*I* feel -wait and tell J after know either way.

If I know me, I’ll probably be back here later… Will continue my spiritual stuff now, and then my health-life readings and piano and maybe a bit of painting… Maybe ww. Maybe some cooking.
Did the laundry yesterday. Will put away today.

And now, during youtube Hicks listening – hm – it makes sense – like when I used to do magazines, tv, and just keep nb nearby – my best thoughts would come to me – ’cause I was chilled—
Also – another positive – it is July 31 – I’d forgotten July has 31 days and had thought it was August 1. So I just gained a day:)
My instincts ARE good (the chill thing)
Also – NOW I can sit in yard to sit in yard
And last – for now – this C scare is a GOOD thing. Because it has nudged me to the take-care-of-self AND enjoy whatever-the-fuck I want, that I have always WANTED to live in summer

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