1. Jo is going to drive me to the party oh yay oh joy! SO thankful.
  2. and does NOT want money for it omg SO nice (i WILL give him something anyway!) – unless – is an insult… hmmm. maybe gf to rest of his nationality that I know he likes…
  3. got my own food shopping done yesterday! yay!
  4. was in good place emotionally all day yay!
  5. started a simple little embroidery project yesterday yay!
  6. and NO stress about it – is ONLY for enjoyment!
  7. i yesterday and today, although i do WANT, am not feeling needy at all about j. First time EVER in that healthy place about it
  8. did my laundry this am!
  9. half still to do but that’s the go-in-dryer half, and can sit there overnight
  10. Jo came down and helped me hang the hang-it stuff yay!
  11. went on TWO errands yesterday besides shopping!
  12. was wiped afterward but is ok – didn’t NEED to go anywhere. didn’t make it to oa, so what and did NOT feel lonely
  13. been needing and getting LOTS of sleep lately
  14. cooked an artichoke pie today (vegan, “savory” yay!
  15. AM just SO grateful can function these ways!
  16. Still pain but NOTHING like was – and
  17. will get help – PT or alexander technique – something
  18. this, from abraham hicks. 6-year chronic pain suffered asked how to move beyond intense physical pain. And Abraham answered, and I quote:
    By noticing that it is not always the same intensity
    By discerning the difference
    And feeling satisfaction in the slight improvement
  19. I used it.
  20. It works! IT REALLY helps
  21. an then i thought – (weeks later now) “use it with emotions as well!
  22. and did
  23. an it works!
  24. ww this morning. good. nice.
  25. and exciting whole-person things coming there too. integral. nice.
  26. Is later now – omg had medical healing massage. omg what help!
  27. then – with his highly enthusiastic approval, took walk!
  28. did 22 minuets today and will do some daily now!
  29. the weather was beautiful!
  30. i have 2 more scheduled.
  31. will do little careful exercises, and walks, and this. instead of alexander technique or PT. for now…
  32. just had salad and piece of my wonderful artichoke pie wow yum
  33. i am grateful for my necklace with the little diamonds
  34. heard from cousin J today (finally – and am grateful)
  35. medical masseuse, who knows my body well, said amazing how much i’e healed in this amount of time – could take MUCH longer months longer to get to this point; many do
  36. and – that i have a wonderful attitude 🙂
  37. and – that that helps too!
  38. and to walk every day!
  39. laughter
  40. sleep
  41. freedom
  42. eyesight!
  43. i will go straighten now
  44. Jo brought me coffee today

Affirmations Sept 30 2018

Everything in my life works now and forevermore.

I take brisk walks in the sunshine to invigorate my body and soul.

I am grateful for my healthy body. I love life.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Gratitudes Sept 29 2018

  1. DR offering yesterday to walk my kids EVERY afternoon! Wow!
  2. I said I would never forget, and I won’t,  but I also said “I probably won’t take you up on it” as I thanked her profusely. And she said, “You can’t not take me up on it. I am showing up and taking your kids.” She said that more than once. Wow.
  3. Others in my area of the building – and beyond – have started expressing care too now. I’m so grateful
  4. sister offering today to come and get me Fri and bring me back Sat!
  5. SUCH loving texts from my darling niece!
  6. I did my own grocery shopping today!
  7. and it hurt less than when friend took me last week!
  8. AND – I did 2 other errands while was out, too! Yay!
  9. sitcoms
  10. my piano. i will sit at it soon
  11. the fun i had with the tamborine yesterday with whole school
  12. that I THINK about what I want to eat – do I want to put THIS in my body – now ❤

Affirmations Sept 29 2018

I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.

I am in perfect health.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

I deserve the best, and I accept it now. All my needs and desires are met before I even ask.


Positive Aspects #41 Sept 29

Write the name or a brief description of someone or something that you always feel good about.
Then: What do I like about you?
Why do I love you so much?
What are your positive aspects?

My sister

What do I like about you?
You try
You mean well
You have grown up so much
You read a lot
You are very good to your kids
and grandkids
You are intelligent
You laugh a nice amount
You believe in feeling good
and you believe in having fun
You care about having family
You have given all you could as a mother
You’re a good cook
You are very friendly to strangers, customers, and people you work with
You work hard; have a tremendous work ethic
You do not waste money. You are good with your purchasing decisions.
You try to let things go even when they bother you, because family is important to you.
You are a good safe driver

Why do I love you so much?
You were very compassionate to and good with Mommy in hospice
We slept in same room when young
You. Let. Me. Back. You. Came. Back. Thank you.
You brought your darling daughter, my angel niece, and her beautiful children. Oh, thank you!
You have tried, as much as you possibly could with what you have
You look at your faults – like “I wasn’t a good enough mother…. I am now..,” I respect that so much.
You were so totally 100% reasonable about the decisions for Mommy hospital/hospice. Thank God.
You confide in me. About your children. I do so appreciate that.
You included me in the whole dance recital weekend!
You just the fuck offered to come and get me next Friday, AND to bring me home the next morning!
You came here with your girls – all 3 – on my birthday – and cooked and cleaned up – and A brought the pie – and you all had such thoughtful presents – and you just made the night absolutely magical. Thank you so much!
We enjoyed together, down here, your birthday 2-days! Our dinner at R and our dinnerr at C and our time at K store and our time at my school where I work, and our walking around the mall…

What are your positive aspects?
You always look good! Always!
You keep up with your appearance. Your weight, your clothes, your hair, your nails, your shoes, everything.
You take care of your house. It is always neat and clean.
You make the improvements that cost money too.
You have kept friend J for many many years
You are close to 2 of our cousins and that has lasted years also
You don’t always like me (that’s ok! who always likes each other?) but you accept me
You give great advice to your son
You are unconditionally loving toward your children
You sing well. Wow, I never heard you til this summer – you’re really good – on key and everything!
You are also my daddy’s little girl
And my mommy’s little girl.
We played together when little
You were my maid of honor in my first wedding
and did a reading at my second one
You have nice taste – furnishings, cars, restaurants..

Thank You, God, for all of this.

Some Positive Aspects from Yesterday (like Grats)

  1. safe rides to work and home
  2. really nice lunch with really nice people
  3. finding out about pain others walk around with. i’m not happy they have pain, but you would never know it, and that’s how i want to be too
  4. ex LD and CC
  5. a positive aspect of yesterday was the youtube hicks i listened to (and wrote abiut on this blog)
  6. and the one from the day before too
  7. yesterday morning was not nearly as bad as the morning before
  8. i. had. some. time. without. pain. yesterday.
  9. heard back from niece about party and she put, “I love you so much” ❤
  10. the salad i had for lunch
  11. the feelings of satisfaction i was aware of.
  12. including on the way in
  13. sleep
  14. dreams
  15. my eyesight
  16. tv
  17. gym teacher’s way with kids
  18. nice compliment from a teacher
  19. then another sort of one
  20. smiles
  21. nice chat with JP
  22. and TL was so good to me
  23. A

This. <3

“She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.”

Ernest Holmes