On – New Year’s Eve – Journal Dec 31 2018

So, it’s not any worse than the year I DID have plans – dating J in fact – and needed – NEEDED – to be “good enough” – good enough for him….
at drugstore for curling iron…

Also – in the moment – in the moment – am i fine? yes

And – D called and COULD make it to meeting and drive me  and – go to the place I lvoe for dinner –
I decided not to, having settled in to the thought of being/staying home
AND THEN – it turned out she and daughter (maybe son and ex too) are going out later – so I prob would have felt like – gee – others come to meeting and go to their lives – me – home alone – and might not have felt good
If want next NY Eve to be different, have a YAR (some of which I’ll be retired!) to get it to that!
And I did wind up with option to go out with S from metg or go visit St at home or go to dinner and meeting – and CHOSE home – which feels good
I WILL keep feeling better and better

Affirmations Dec 31 2018

I am at home in my body.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

Gratitudes Dec 30, 2018

  1. I have a yellow diamond
  2. It “represents the sun and pure life energy and joy, meaning also love. Its golden light radiates into our body and soul, reminding us of the truth of who we are: eternal beings of light and spirit. The Yellow Diamond stimulates and enhances our creativity and self-expression.
  3. White diamonds too.
  4. They, “in its rarity and beauty, is a symbol of purity and innocence, of love and fidelity, and embraces strength of character, ethics, and faithfulness to oneself and others. It is indicative of the loving and open nature with which one came into the physical realm, and encourages the aspect of truth and trust.
  5. My fb friend JB
  6. Being there so much for MT
  7. communication with her this am
  8. and with Tr
  9. PT
  10. safety
  11. will go print the things today. for my manifestation board
  12. ok. and so. here go more. living through the year 2018
  13. going to UPS today
  14. getting my printing done
  15. looks good
  16. going for specialty pedi
  17. with polish and liking it!
  18. very nice woman and
  19. I tipped VERY highly and feel good about it
  20. wound up with some plans
  21. to choose from!
  22. D w S
  23. their place with St
  24. dinner and mtg w D
  25. CHOOSING to stay home
  26. choice, so is good
  27. feel fine
  28. cozy
  29. health
  30. my health
  31. my parents pushing me and giving me all those piano lessons!
  32. piano
  33. my manifestation board! – putting it together tomorrow!
  34. when a teen and one of my fish had babies!
  35. i had that little plastic insert in tank so not eaten
  36. oh the thrill!
  37. chatting with A just now reminded me!
  38. This new year is indeed a new book. And I can write it any way I want!
  39. this f4e69461c4ebc00fbe3695223cb2a538.jpg
  40. the great thing i just did. telling DS we shouldn’t talk. See, i felt better BECAUSE he recently married – but there are troubles and he needs to focus on making that work! So I made the sacrifice. And I feel good about it. So I”m grateful to myself for that action. I can get lonely and it is good for my feelings when I do, but I will not now. ❤ yay me
  41. this evening. that i am fine in it
  42. gift of skin cream from nail salon today:)
  43. i tipped very well. she did work extra hard. and it is NY Eve…
  44. that I stayed home. I’m tired!


Positive Aspects #86 Dec 31

What do I like about you?
You are funny
You are pretty and dress well and wear meaningful jewelry so are a good influence in that way
You have lost about 120 pounds! Inspiration as well.
You are growing. More with fam than ever…
You are in program (oa) ❤
We have shared meals together
We have shared sols together
We have been to meetings toegether
You once sponsored me

Why do I love you so much?
You have driven me many times.
You like me.
You “get” me.
You love me.
We have laughed together.
In absurdity as well.
You came to my mother’s memorial service.
You have compassion.
You are spiritual.
You are open to the magic.
You invited me to Christmas last year!
And to your thank-you birthday party!
You will come to my piano recital.
You are so positive
You have told me – and many of us – that you wake up in the default of wear, worry, anxiety… And you spend first hours turning that around with your spiritual practices.

What are your positive aspects?
You change and grow every day.
You do your spiritual internal work every day.
You and I found Hicks separately at the same time!
You admit your selfishness
You work on bettering yourself
You are changing your life – attracting better and better
Your kids!

Positive Aspects # 85 Dec 30

Cooking for myself
What do I like about you?
You save me money.
You increase my health.
You build immunity.
You build strength.
You are fun to do.
The house smells so good.
I don’t have to cook at night, ’cause I do my cooking on Sunday for the week
I know every ingredient
Tastes good

Why do I love you so much?
Great memories
Building toward future ones too
Busy doing something good
Less likely to binge
Build in more vegetables
Can count everything (ww)
I’m a grown-up now
Grandmothers, grandfather, mother, sister, niece, tradition.
I can make ~wonderful~ things! LIke
stuffed artichokes
Giada’s pasta with spinach and lentils
my pasta veggie protein delicious bake
my mother’s recipe stew
my veggie protein bake
artichoke hearts
homemade pizza
corn bread
pumpkin bread
banana bread
hot cereals
brown rice dishes
chickpea salad
lentil loaf
lentil burgers
and so much more! There IS no limit!
I can use my mother’s handwritten cookbook.
And all my cookbooks
and Internet
and friends

What are your positive aspects?
I can cook for others too
I can bring to school for lunch
I can eat most hot, warm or cold
More likely to eat a “regular” meal
Know what looking forward to later each day
No matter how late, tired… there is always something there
Can freeze some.
I get to shop for foods.
I get to 2 – 3 beautiful storess
I love putting the food away and seeing it there.
I am always “set.”
That feeling – there was nothing there and now there’s something there:)

Thank You.


Gratitudes Dec 30 2018

  1. I felt so good yesterday! Yay and thank you
  2. I have life
  3. Health
  4. Eyesight
  5. Ability to walk
  6. Ability to drive
  7. Ability to play piano
  8. Ability to type
  9. Ability to lvoe
  10. Abraham hicks
  11. Breath
  12. Voice
  13. Good strong heart
  14. Good healthy lungs
  15. PT
  16. tvs
  17. washing machine
  18. dryer
  19. hanging rods
  20. dishwasher
  21. fridge
  22. freezer
  23. stove
  24. microwave
  25. water to drink
  26. water for bathing
  27. water for washing clothes
  28. water for washing dishes
  29. detergent
  30. dish washer detergent
  31. dishwashing liquid
  32. dishes
  33. hot giner tea right now
  34. plenty of food
  35. health food store –
  36. 2 actually
  37. supermarket
  38. clothes
  39. coat
  40. boots
  41. of different types
  42. jewelry
  43. J
  44. Jo
  45. A
  46. L
  47. M
  48. Tr
  49. MT
  50. St
  51. O
  52. De
  53. Da
  54. A
  55. H
  56. K
  57. job
  58. retirement soon
  59. pension
  60. Christmas with fam
  61. NY coming in 2 days
  62. manifestation board in the making
  63. sleep
  64. dreams. last night’s were VERY bad. Among the worst I can ever remember having – woke up moaning more than once – and last few night bad dreams – but – normally good dreams!
  65. my laptop
  66. and other one!
  67. my iphone
  68. my piano
  69. squirrels
  70. birds
  71. my indoor birdies too
  72. EJ
  73. that i didn’t kill myself
  74. program – oa meetings
  75. ww and meetings
  76. fun people
  77. nice people
  78. honest people
  79. people who don’t eat animals
  80. my eye doctor
  81. Thich Hnat Hanh
  82. Affirmations
  83. my d.r.
  84. enough
  85. my friend D
  86. and M
  87. KB
  88. KC
  89. CP
  90. hugs
  91. my positivity
  92. people who don’t eat animals
  93. meditation. especially together
  94. i can hear
  95. singing
  96. painting
  97. coloring
  98. crocheting
  99. needlework
  100. that I learned to knit when I was like 3
  101. heat
  102. lights
  103. air conditioning
  104. malls
  105. online shopping
  106. children
  107. teaching – that I hae been good enough – and ostly MUCH MUCH better than that
  108. the kids I have helped
  109. and all they have taught me
  110. hope
  111. light
  112. spirituality
  113. Chinese food
  114. veganism
  115. MY veganism
  116. that I don’t wear leather
  117. or pearls
  118. or silk
  119. or wool
  120. that i can read
  121. that i have helped others to
  122. my student teaching experiences
  123. kindnesses
  124. waking up today
  125. last night’s meeting
  126. Friday night’s meeting
  127. poetry
  128. classical music
  129. Chopin
  130. Mozart
  131. prayer
  132. yellow diamonds
  133. sunshine
  134. beauty
  135. art
  136. my piano and my piano in the classroom. all these years:)
  137. my first public school principal
  138. technology
  139. medicines
  140. hospitals
  141. my compassion
  142. others’ compassion
  143. my house
  144. roof
  145. colors
  146. all furniture
  147. windows
  148. sunroom
  149. plants
  150. my ability to eat, swallow, digest, absorb, and eliminate
  151. my independence
  152. my strength
  153. my growth
  154. walking
  155. walking in nature
  156. my car
  157. gas in my car
  158. iti sregistered and insured and inspected
  159. i pay all my bills on time
  160. a few bucks in the bank
  161. Br
  162. diner near me
  163. It rest we go to, MT, Tr and I
  164. MA, ML and I used to go there
  165. and MA, ML, S and I
  166. angels
  167. that i don’t go to therapy anymore
  168. Jo’s great visit the other day
  169. my steps now
  170. all the work I’ve done on the house
  171. roof
  172. chimney
  173. stucco
  174. front rebuild
  175. paint exterior
  176. pipes outside
  177. plumbing
  178. electrical
  179. retaining wall
  180. peninsula
  181. landscaping
  182. walls
  183. fences
  184. basement clean
  185. garage clean
  186. attic clean
  187. indoor painting
  188. l.r. ceiling repair
  189. kitchen new half
  190. new bathroom
  191. new washer
  192. dryer
  193. tvs
  194. stove
  195. microwave
  196. water heater
  197. sunroom heat
  198. new front door to be installed
  199. new driveway soon
  200. bannister coming
  201. rass front and back
  202. flowers
  203. exterination
  204. new furniture l.r.
  205. and den
  206. and br
  207. sleep number bed
  208. swimming
  209. beachbody
  210. exercise
  211. not letting self get dehydrated now
  212. new starts. i am the queen of them
  213. books
  214. my Nook
  215. my teacup collection
  216. my fingers
  217. my feet
  218. my hope chest
  219. my 3-tiered antique dish from my mother
  220. that she is not suffering now anymore
  221. my freedom
  222. Golden Girls
  223. frit
  224. vegetables
  225. Swiss chard
  226. spinach
  227. collards
  228. broccoli
  229. cauliflower
  230. peppers
  231. fb
  232. my great food shopping trip yesterday
  233. nothing i HAVE TO do today

Affirmations Dec 30 2018

I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.

I am in perfect health.

I am safe.

Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.
Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.

I take in and give out nourishment in perfect balance.