- I am eating much better
- I feel better – more positive
- I am stronger physically (injury last year)
- I am not as lonely
- I go to OA regularly and am on Step 11
- I am better at piano.
- There is NO bullshit in my life! None coming in, nonoe going out.
- I am not as insane about J.
- I finally have a warm coat.
- I take better and more consistent care of my skin.
- I am so much better with the mail!!
- and with the garbage too
- and with meditation
- and have been with moving, too.
- So much better attitude about things that come up, like about the trees, or money…
- More patient
- More understanding
- More kind to myself.
- More compassion
- Took huge step for self: retirement. And haven’t regretted it!
And from few years ago:
1. House always neat
2. Car much neater
3. Much better with birds
4. Less time vegging out with tv
5. Less to no 7-11 crap
Thank you, Daddy.
Thank you, Mommy.
Thank You, God.
Thank you, Friends.
Both eyes went perfectly well.
Now I just need the lung to. I think it will.
I have started to choose fun and adventure rather than just safety and boring.
I have come to accept where J is in my life and appreciate it.
I have come to love every day.
I have come to love myself.
I have felt bliss many many times.
I am grateful. A bit tired and dehydrated so can’t think much more at the moment. But wanted to record this. Grateful.
One year ago today:
Tuesday I had a couple of seconds without pain.
Yesterday, although I awakened at 3:20 and cried in pain on and off for 4 1/2 hours (nb I participated in a pain-tolerance study years ago. Came out higher than football players. I have a very high tolerance for pain), I had about 2 minutes sitting on the bench in the gym, then about a minute at the gas station in the car, and then a couple of minutes in the shower, without pain.
First time in 15 days any minutes without pain. And I am so grateful. ‘Cause that means I will have more! Am following what my practitioner says… Very grateful and hopeful.
I want to be patient. Not quick to anger, whether I show it or not – the feeling of it.
I want to forgive. Fully and totally. Which goes with the above.
I want to not care what anyone else thinks of me. Unless it’s someone close and is a misunderstanding and I’m just wanting to straighten it out for the truth.
I want to live in this state of gratitude and grace rather than fear.
I want to bring more family into my life.
I want to bring partner into my life.
I want to be someone who is as perfect as possible about caring for Mother Earth.
I want to take care of my body with the good foods and with moving.
I want to do more fun things consistently.
I want to accept.
Echo Test: Perfect in every way. Strong, flow, etc.
Stress Test – 9 – 8 minutes. And they got me further than had planned/needed to
Am cleared for all exercise
I think because calcification, it does count as heart diesease, but today’s results were the absolute best possible!
I feel high.
My life keeps getting better and better.
I will continue the Ornish stuff – all of it – tomorrow…
Thank you, God. Thank you.
And I feel like – I feel like doing child-like things. Coloring and sitting with feet in stream
I am CRAVING the park.
I feel like the world is my oyster and I am its pearl and I can do exciting things too.
Must add about my spirit and the guy’s advice about how to talk to friends and read bible and keep smiling and i seem like happy person which is the best… … .
loved my spirit – and i his
***This is second – or may be third – time – not caring J not want – out of POSITIVE rather than because in pain sick or injured oh yay oh yay!
(I know it happened now, this morning, and yesterday, I feel like I remember it happening this summer at libr and I noted it – too lazy to look right now lol)