Big Book on Fear Nov 28 2019

…”We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.
Perhaps there is a better way – we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

Grow As Self

How to keep growing and enjoying, as Self. What I can think of:

keep looking good every day
keep eating well, including enough greens and lots of water
exercise, if only to walk and/or dvds
friends
meetings
piano
French
reading
birds
plants
spirituality! 10th step whenever need daily 11th step “checkup”
daily prayer
daily meditation
review from this morning on phone with M
fun

Nov 27, 2019, Some Relief, Thank You, God (Talked to my sponsor M on phone)

Be pleasant have the contact have to have

Don’t push the issue
just let it be
let God

You’ll know when it’s over or when it’s a possibility

Let go of it

You can have the same “6 days” on your own
You’ve got to grow and be self before you can ever be self and J

You’ve got to be self. In and of yourself. And you’re not ready for that.

I’m trying to write the scenario. Make it be the way I want it to be.

“Am I gonna be alone for rest of life with just my cats?” – like that other one – WE DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TOMORROW

Pathways – the one called FAITH

STAY IN THE NOW. And just be with what’s happening now.

If bug him, won’t work

If want to, rip guts out

Must let go of this. God you’re in charge of this. You know the answer to this. I don’t. Just show me what to do.

Let go is probably the right answer. (Because you have such a reaction to it).

Break heart trying to make relationship work when no participation on othe part.
If he comes to me, different story.
If and when, would be great. But it may not happen.

Can be friends and have the dealings with and be pleasant and who knows.

Don’t build your hopes on it or hard letdown if fails.

 

Not closing door on it. Asking God for the right answer.
Interact with him like always have.

That may be the way he feels about it right now.

You just

Put it out there

You can have hopes and dreams. Hope that it can happen. Don’t make plans for it to happen.
Don’t start redecorating the bedroom, you know.

Don’t set yourself up.

Holidays are just hard. For most people.

We don’t know what’s going on inside.

Let it unfold way it is

Plan some things that you enjoy
Don’t sit and get all melancholy; get on the pity pot.
Do best can.

24 hour meetings – –

heart to heart
a vision for you

B (Florida now) – has –

Don’t dwell on it.

Hicks… you can want something and be positive about it without obsessing. Just open a positive pathway Hm that might be nice and then put it away. Not just shut door on it

Can’t RELY on it to be a reality.

Any time have negative feeling,
p. 84

Cont to watch for self dis rest fear

And when crops up, ask God at once

Discuss IMMEDIATELY

Make amends

Resolutely turn thoughts to someone can help

Night is 11th step review

Even call M.

Discuss with somebody (in program preferably)

When blocked off from God, defenseless. No telling what might happen decisions etc.

Just boom get rid of it

Then think about somebody you can help.

If works out that way, help him.

If helping somebody else, no way gonna be feeling sorry for self.
Takes practice. Not an overnight thing.
Our brains have been doing same thing same way for long time.

Trying to rewire, not gonna happen overnight.

Don’t get discouraged.

Ch hope