Feb 1 2020 God-box

God, please help me. I want to be with ___ so much. The only secure-feeling years I had. Although… well – you know all of it. You know what I want so dearly. But I say to you now, I acknowledge that it is in your hands. Please take care of it Your will be done and my acceptance. Thank You, Amen.

Higher Power, please keep my eyesight strong and have me not worry about it. That is my most precious request. But I place this in Your hands.

Source, please help me to continue to eat better and well. And to exercise. Please relive me of the burden of not caring for myself enough. I lay this request before You and will do my part.

Please, Father, grant me calm. That I may have happiness and peace and be an example and sharing of it for others. In all things, Your will be done.


Journal Feb 9 2020

A lot of thought and a talk with A and some researach and line -and a breakthrough. Here it is:

i think i have to
find more of a LIFE
i have started
need some but few meetings (oa)
and make sure make OWN decisions who/how to be
and live more. NOW.
not associate self or others with addiciton addiction addiction
yes with trying to live reat life
not speak of character defects. i don’t like the language. but of unskillfulness (like THN). and most of all Hicks and the positives

Sept 22 2019

As of tomorrow, there are 100 days left in 2019.
What do I want – what would I like – what do I intend – to be, do, or have… (I like that better than “accomplish”, a la Hicks)


Ornish eating
Move every day. Can add to walking, the dances like Country Heat and Cize, that I already have! – and even some little weights or the gym
Have a French teacher by the end
The Ornish (plus mine) stress management daily (find better term more positive – maybe happiness building or happiness maintaining or happies yes I like that one)
Hair, clothes, creams, makeup
Plan my trip for spring or summer!
I intend to feel joyous and peaceful, both, every day!
Have some fun every day!
Be true to myself.
Continue keeping all my promises. Including the picking stuff up, the be my honest true self, the be forgiving compassionate and accepting (not doormat) and the looking a certain way every day.
Laugh – daily!
Give time to my birdies – daily.
~STAY in this grateful magic space (the after-eye surgery place)
xo ❤
*WOW! What a life I’ll be having with this!

My Meditation Today Aug 1 2019

I *loved* it.
Looked forward to started, loved the doing.
With beads in beautiful little sunroom with birds singing outside and plants around me. Luscious.
Like yesterday, I got a message.
Today’s message is:
Good good-feeling acceptance. Of everything in my life. JUST as it is.


PS Got message yesterday also. Was “I don’t have to rush ANYTHING anymore!

Daily Prayers in Writing Today April 7 2019

~Good Morning Dear God, My Creator and Maker of all things good.
I love You.
I worship and adore only You.
~Thank you for my mother’s miracle and all those years
And J doing all that for her
And even being with her when she passed
And her not suffering now.
Thank you for J being in my life
And us getting along
Thank you for getting me over that hump of mean feelings and hurt and anger Fri night and yesterday!
Thank you that Jo will keep doing the work
Thank you for my finding the savings account yesterday
Thank you that I WILL REALLY do the paper things today
Thank you for my hobbies
Thank you for so much! My eyesight, my breath, my birdie singing right now, hope, no pain this morning wow, will do laundry in little bit, my skin care stuff coming and me putting it away organized, my great shopping trip yesterday to hfs.
And Hicks
and yesterday’s ww
and great talks with D yesterday and today
~I am sorry for letting the feelings of abandonment, rejection, and fear almost get the total better of me. I am sorry for eating too much
~Please reunite A with his daughter A while they are healthy. Please help C and his whole family. Please comfort KB
Thank You. Amen.

God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. Amen.

God, grant me the serenity to  accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Amen.