Journal May 26 2020

Had much anxiety this am.
Said over and over, “God help me. God help me.”

And I heard back from the nervous-making place. They will call again with more answers.
And that first call came right when I got out of the shower, literally, so I didn’t miss it.

And then J called 🙂
Yay ❤
And – he will do the bank thing too yay.

Ok it turns out I was wrong – I didn’t get stimulus check – but is okay. I’m fine
Even did my online banking. So grateful.

God IS helping me.

“Things are always working out for me” (Abraham Hicks)

Weather even beautiful today

And drugstore to deliver later.

French and Piano Jan 21 2020

How Good Learning French Makes Me Feel!

I love my lessons.
I love doing the homework (although I never want to do it, and have put it off til “last minute,” at least some of it, both lessons so far.)
I love the sound of it.
Even with my own voice/ accent.
I love reading it aloud.
I love figuring it out.
I have all the resources, with my amazing teacher and the Internet!

There’s something that excites me doing it! It makes me feel happy.
So do it – just do it – just ~enjoy~! *

Same with piano. I love practicing. I love hearing the music come to be. I love the *thought* of playing for others. I love playing for the birds. Really. I love playing for God. Really

Feel Good, Sweetheart (Self) <3 Jan 15 2020

I kind of don’t care about anything right now but health. And that’s good. J doesn’t want me oh waah waah. Cardiologist Monday, and yesterday reaction to shingles shot. And this fall eye things.

So, (is couple hours later now) – I felt good today. Just plain old good. Yay! I LOVE that!
Just good. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. Ahhhh.

Now then I did go grocery shopping. And it was hard. Physically. Like the breathing. I do have a huge (a good 4in by 3 in) red lump on arm where shot was. So I guess is still reaction. I will go to gym but talk to trainer. Maybe just recumbent bike or something today…. (Ok – just spoke to A and to the gym. Am not going today!)

Anyway, I will continue to try to calibrate to Source, to my Inner Being. And listen to Hicks. And meditate. Also presently downloading the Calm app (as per my cardiologist Monday! 🙂 )

It is NOT about who thinks/feels doesn’t think/ doesn’t feel what about me!
~I~ am a creature of Source. I am of Source. Source is in me. I am a Sacred being.
I have all the conditions for happiness

Thank You.

To Remember Jan 14 2020

And what about the syphlis?
Doesn’t it tell something about how he was feeling toward me?

that this isn’t ABOUT me – it is about HIS abiliyties/inabilities – about which i always had some evidence and inklings

It’s okay, Honey (Self). You’re okay.

The though that you would have considered KILLING your sweet dear precious sacred self, over a feeling of need… No. No.